I feel like I can’t catch my breath.
He said while I was gone he went in the girl’s bathroom. He communicated a repulsion to the number of fake eyelashes and accoutrements. I asked if he thought that was false advertising, half jokingly. I said I know I wear makeup but I still look like myself.
Instead of directly answering my question, he said “Well, what do you think if there were limits to the makeup you could wear at work.”
I answered “I’d be pissed.” He said “Well if we are going to discuss the #MeToo movement then, you have to take that into consideration.” I replied “It sounds like you are blaming women for sexual assault because their wearing too much makeup.”
“Well makeup is too make you look more sexually attractive. It’s anthropological roots are that it started because women wanted to make themselves more sexually attractive.”
“Everyone wants to be more sexually attractive, but it should be the person who commits sexual assault being blamed for it, not a woman because she is wearing makeup.”
He replies “This movement is leading us to puritanism. In the 70s this movement of feminism was that women wanted to be equal to men and they wanted to have sex indiscriminately. Now they want special treatment and laws, it’s almost like you can’t do anything.”
“No! That is not true. Women in the 70s didn’t demand to have indiscriminate sex. They just wanted to not be treated badly if they acted like men do, when they have indiscriminate sex. Men are treated like “the man” if they have sex with lots of women, women get treated badly for doing the same thing. They just wanted the same treatment. You are really personally offending me as a woman. If we had a daughter I’d never want you saying these things to her.”
He says “I am not saying anything about you. This is a general observation about the public.”
“I am a woman so it is about me. I believe in these movements you are talking about. I read about this and I disagree with what you are saying.”
Him: “Maybe you are getting too personal about this. I am making a broad observation of the public.”
“Maybe you’re not getting personal enough. Maybe you haven’t lived these experiences. I am woman and I have.” (I know I don’t need to go any further, he is well aware.)
At this point, I don’t know for sure this is where this argument came from but I say. “Maybe you should stop listening to biased news and listening to Blaze news. Anyway, I gotta go get my car.”
My heart races, it drops in my chest. I am angry and frustrated. I go inside the tire center and get my keys. I come out and he is parked by my car. He smirks at me. I say “don’t laugh this isn’t funny.” He says “I love you” and drives away. I go home and listen to a program about Women in Diplomacy. He gets home afterward and walks up the stairs. I am barely concentrating but when he walks in the room, I pretend I am intensely concentrating on it. I want to hide. We can’t go further into this. It’s a whirlpool pulling us down. I am confused and unsure of the point. Is it wrong for women want different things then they did 50 years ago? It is wrong for women to be treated equally to men? To decide who they want to have sex with and to expect to not be sexually assaulted? To have laws that are not SPECIAL TREATMENT but which allow equality and laws which protect EVERYONE from sexual assault.
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