Living Lessons in Life
- May 21, 2020, 2:23 p.m.
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- Public
This will probably be a light entry but as my mood is on a significant up-take I’m doing a quick look back on things that have helped me improve and get over a spike.
Recognition is great in theory but I feel like there’s may of us out there who recognize without issue. Any of us can go “yes, I am in a shit mood and it’s lasting a long fucking time” that’s not the difficult part.
The difficult part was waking up at 5am, when it was 5 degrees out (Celcius) and strapping on my skates for the first time and getting my ass kicked by light physical activity. That’s the hard part. There’s always the easy ‘I’ve heard it all before’ check list that won’t work for everyone but it worked well for me and maintaining it is my new ‘hard part’
But the cliche’s are: Get outside, be active. Drink water, eat healthy. Sleep regularly (I still struggle with this currently) and know when to stop.
Knowing when to stop is the big one for me because too often do I dive into something and just go headstrong (back off I’ll take you all on, headstrong can take on anyone. You’re welcome, enjoy having that stuck in your head) and keep going until I burn out and hate what I was doing.
This is something I’m focusing on heavily in my creative pursuits right now. I have a pretty clear moment, I’ve noticed, when my mind is just like “Okay lets do something else” and stopping right THERE has been a big improvement for wanting to go back to something later. As I work on more DnD stuff and maps and tiddly little shit like that that’s very detail oriented there’s impulses that are like “Okay work on the map, okay now stop working on that and write, okay I’m bored of this lets play video games” and I’ve found by responding to that impulse I’m a) getting more done in a day b) Not ‘craving’ doing something else while I’m spending time with my daughter and c) getting much more quality time with my daughter which has reduced the stress levels in the house significantly.
As for that CBD drink that I had last night ( https://ocs.ca/products/cbd-iced-tea-basecamp ) It was very interesting. I drank it down around 430 while I was making dinner and had dinner and the sorts, after dinner I went out onto the balcony for a bit because Pam was on her phone and I was just… sitting there bored of watching that. (really I think she’s on her phone way too much but it’s easier to judge than to… less ye be judged… or something) so I went out onto the Balcony with Elly and left her to play on her phone or whatever and we just sat there, played with sticks and boots and it was very relaxing. Eventually Elly went in and I stared out over the world (which is a main street so a lot more fences than ‘world) but after a bit I found myself just silently staring at a tree not really thinking about anything, just clear of mind.
When I came in I told Pam that I could really feel it kicking in and it wasn’t a “high” or anything like that but rather it was just a ‘lack of’ I would say. It really quashed my anxiety and quieted down my needless thinking a bit. I would say it wasn’t like a Zen experience but rather that I just knew I wasn’t worried about anything. It’s not something I want to rely upon because I worry about that level of reliance but I would 100% keep a bottle or two around for those times where I know I have to put myself into an anxious state, like seeing family or something like that where I want to not be a basket case.
After that I sat down and worked on the DnD stuff for about an hour or so I want to say until around 9pm then I stopped cuz I felt like I wanted to stop, like I was getting bored and I went to bed to read. It was very peaceful and relaxing and… it’s like if (and this is a terrible image) I was mentally constipated and the CBD kinda cleared out the blockage. I feel much better today, probably on part of being on the up-tick but I’m still deciding how to move forward.
Do I get the CBD Gel’s and take it daily? Or do I just have it around for when I need it? I think I’m to the point now that when this is all over I’m going to seek out therapy/doctor opinions so that I can have an informed choice in front of me and not a Dr. Google prescription.
DE_KentuckyGirl ⋅ May 21, 2020
I take a high quality CBD oil and find it helps calms my anxiety.
DE_Da_Bartender DE_KentuckyGirl ⋅ May 25, 2020
Let me axe you some questions if you don't mind.
1) What Oil?
2) how much does it cost?
3) how long does one purchase last you?
4) Did you self prescribe?
5) how much do you take?
I've been looking at buying something that's going to last longer than a drink and I've seen both Gelcaps (15) and oils (which I know nothing about) So I'd love to hear more about the oil from you and all that
DE_KentuckyGirl DE_Da_Bartender ⋅ May 25, 2020 (edited May 25, 2020)
Edited
I use Bluegrass Hemp Oil. I chose them because of their extraction method, which is from the bloom. Many other brands extract from the stalk. After a bit of research, this appears to be a more superior method of extraction for potency. They do not flavor their oils like some do, so if you take it sublingually, it has a very earthy taste.
They have different strengths and bottle sizes. If you want to check out Bluehrass Hemp Oil's website, they ship. My 4oz bottle of 1190 mg was like $$125.
A 4 oz bottle generally lasts me several months.
Yes I did self prescribe after talking to a few others including a few people I know who are in the medical field, who take CBD.
Right now, I use the 1190mg strength bottle and take between .5 and .75 ml before bed. During some of heavier times of anxiety, I have taken morning and evening. I have tweaked dosages and played around to get the right one for me because there is no real set guide on dosage.
When I began taking it, I bought a much lower mg bottle (450mg and then a 750mg bottle). I started out with a small dosage of .25ml before bed. Moved it up until I had a fairly consistent level of chill throughout my days.
I found if I took it in the morning, or when I did it twice a day, that I had a bit too much chill. Like, I kinda felt almost sedated. Jot quite sedated like we would think of it, but.....like I just wanted to go back to bed.
The bottle sizes through BHO (450 mg or 1190 mg) reflects the total amount in the whole bottle. So the 1190mg is more concentrated than the 450mg for instance. In the same .5ml dosage I bought the 1190mg because it lasts me longer since I can take less and get more. I put the oil under tongue with the measured dropper that comes with it. I hold it as long as I can then swallow. It helps me sleep (I am one of those who stays awake for hours, no matter how sleepy, with my thoughts facing about everything). On some occasions it doesn't, but that's my female hormones and it almost always happens at the same time of the month a few days before my cycle starts.
It's hard to know exactly how much to take when starting out. But theres actually no risk on playing with amounts until you find one right for you. I found starting out low and gradually increasing to I got what I felt was right for me, was best for me