Hi there.
I don’t really know what I’m doing or how to start this but here goes nothing.
I am in desperate need to clear my mind, and I think this is probably the best way to do it. I can’t really chat with anyone and I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed with life at the moment so I guess this is what I’ll do now.
Where do I even start?
I guess I’ll set out a plan of what I’m going to do with this. Or is that a bit silly for an anonymous diary that’s im just putting out there to clear my thoughts. I don’t know. I guess i just sort of really dont want to press backspace. Everything I write is going to be straight out my head, and its probably going to be ridiculously chaotic but thats what my head is like so there we go .
I just finished my degree. A masters. I dont feel too good about it. I guess finishing a degree in the midst of a global pandemic makes it seem really bloody insignficant. Like theres so many people out there achieving so much more than i did by writin my silly irrelevant thesis. and theres so much going on and so many people expriencing a lot more stress than I am working on a masters. but thats it. finished a masters. woohoo. that was meant to sound sarcastic.
i guess the next thing? im training to be a teacher. its stressful already and i only started it today. curriculum and all that stuff. its a lot
and i dont feel supported. i dont feel liike anyone is proud. i know i shoudl be proud, but i just feel like its not important. i shouldnt be proud, i probablu dont deserve it, i am not on the same level as everyone else. its going to be a big old journey of self doubt to be honest with you. but i have got to go somewhere.
im struggling to find ways to communicate my feelings to my partner. i dont feel like they have the space to deal with my things adn i get that but i guesss i was hoping they could becasue ive had so much time for them and the stuff that they have gone through.
now i know theyre struggling with that stuff again and i dont have it in me to even know where to begin with helping them. i thought i did. but i guess i didnt. i dont know . i feel useless because i cant take care of me and i cant take care of them. like i feel bad.
just bad
i dont know.
I guess I’m going to call it there because its all a bit scatty in my chaotic little brain right now but I’m sure I’ll be back once Ive fallen iinto the idea of doing this a bit better.
grammarly tol dme theres 80 mistakes in this piece of writing but I’m gion to leave it as is because i guess it just reflects my mind at the minute. maybe thats something ill talk about in every post, how many times grammarly thinks ive fucked up
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