So there’s this web site that seems dedicated to make things go viral, I mean force round things into square holes. It’s called upworthy and you see links to videos all over the place. The one I’ve seen a lot of lately is headlined as; Dutch Guy is Disgusted by America, but he has one hell of a point. The video and “Dutch Guy” voice over is much milder than the headline.
The guy seems to think America is less bike friendly than the Netherlands. I imagine that’s very true. The video shows American cities and, to dudes credit, they get progressively more progressive, that is to say bike friendly. The guy who wrote the headline, I think, is less interested in safe and sound biking in America and more interested in creating controversy.
The video didn’t inspire national pride in me, and I sure have some, nor did it raise my biking hackles. I agree with most things the guy was saying, including, pretty far off point but I agree all the same, biking clothes. Dude might have been trying to make a point, he didn’t make it very hard, about Americans being justifiably afraid of traffic to the point of wearing a helmet, but, the lycra shorts, um, I think he was making a point that I agree with; Ewwww. I mean he didn’t say Ewwww, but, you know, nobody has to wear those things. I used to go on long bike tours, three to five hundred miles, and nobody wore those (I don’t think they’d been invented yet, but still, none of the bike lanes had been invented yet either.).
I think someone with their national hackles up might say the traffic patterns are very different in the US. I’m thinking if the guy was taking calls he’d probably say “Sure, yes, absolutely”. Although I think he has a kind of skewed view of the states I honestly don’t think about the Netherlands at all. I imagine they are more bike friendly the way riding a bike outside an urban area is friendlier in the states, though dude had some really cool footage of bike lanes in various cities in the states, ones I had never seen. He did keep saying things like “Still, it’s just paint.” I wonder if in the Netherlands they have concrete barriers for bikers.
“It’s just paint” implies that car drivers don’t give a shit. That’s a difficult statement to make about a country as large as this one. Portland, OR, for instance is a very bike friendly town, and, in my humble opinion, is in second place for the worst drivers I’ve ever seen (Seattle might have the worst drivers on this or any other planet; again, I haven’t been to the Netherlands.). I’m thinking any country with at least one bike and at least one car has had at least one car vs bike accident. The Guy seemed to like American bikers in street clothes and without helmets. Me too, but it’s a fashion thing and a sort of superstitious thing (if you dress for trouble trouble has an easier time picking you out of a crowd).
I mean anyone who thinks they need a helmet probably does. Some cities have bike laws specific to minors and helmets. I don’t know, I’ve had some bad spills on bikes in my time, never cracked my skull, I kind of assume if I had while wearing a helmet I’d be in danger of breaking my neck. Not coming out against helmets at all, just that I’d rather not wear one. I’m not exactly sure what the guy’s point was about clothes and helmets but as best as I could gather he thinks biking should be casual and natural. He had this bit about how fast some bikers traveled like they were in a race and then conceded it was probably to get to the other side of traffic. Street clothes and a leisurely pace sure sounds like someone who likes biking to work. It’s not a foreign concept in the states. Um, it’s less foreign in some states than others.
All the video really inspired in me was the desire to go for a bike ride, stretch out the creaky winter muscles. It’s a bright sun-shiny day, but cold out. This was my conundrum as a kid; should I dress for right now or for the afternoon? I run warm is all I’m saying. If I took a coat and went on a bike ride I’d have to figure out a way of carrying the coat after a few miles. I don’t have jackets, I have winter coats, I am not tying the sleeves of a lamb skin coat with wool lining (you’d think there would be some sort of biblical restriction against, um, ‘my people’ wearing the skin of child with the hair of the mother. Mom probably did fine with the haircut, the lamb not so much without the skin. My favorite male bonding scene in a movie was in Some Kind Of Wonderful where the protagonist and the bad kid with a heart of gold are in detention and show each other their respective bored art work, the bad kid shows a drawing of skull with pigtails and says “This is what my girlfriend looks like without any skin.”)
I have an old soft dress leather, the removable lining is somewhere in the NW still, it’s much lighter weight, but, for the cold part the zipper is broken and for the hot part it’s still hard to tie around your waist. I used to hitch hike with a buckskin coat and I know the fringe is meant as a way of carrying string with you to tie things off. I had to do that once; buckskin isn’t easy to tie, you’d be better off just keeping a shoe lace in your wallet. I don’t know if chicks do this or not, but that outline of a condom in your wallet …? It shows how long it’s been there almost as sure as the pale skin around your ring finger shows you’ve removed a ring that had been there a long time. I don’t know if chicks would think the leather worn outline of a condom in your wallet is a good thing or a bad thing, I do know it puzzle all genders if the outline were of a shoelace. “Ah Ha! So you’re the guy that’s been fucking my Nikes!”
My horoscope today said something about me having important things to say today, well, me as in Aquarius. Some poor sons’ a’bitching Aquarian is carrying twice the load saying important things for two. I guess I could get jacked up about something that concludes with So DO this and DON’T DO that. But shit, where would I start? Seriously everything I have an opinion on you do as well and I’m not convinced that I even want your opinion changed let alone whether or not it’s my duty to do it. I’d like it if y’all were against Breed Specific Legislation, but, you know, I think all the chips that were going to fall on that one have, it’s a much tougher row to hoe to undo them as any nutjob who seems to think Roe vs wade is somehow negotiable will attest. Heh. I pulled Roe Vs Wade because of the row to hoe. Somewhere I suppose I could have worked in the road to hades (you know, it’s paved with good intentions) row roe, Hades Wade(s), that sort of thing.
I certainly think you should stop killing things, stealing things and perhaps coveting things (though that makes me sound like that one book --- you know, The Shining.). But I think you are too invested in death and theft and, um, covetry. Yeah, I caught you a ’coveting my ass, made the donkey nervous too. Hmmmm, what other things do you do that I have an opinion that you probably shouldn’t and/or get to ceasing and desisting with a quickness? I’m sure you’d know better than I what I’d be under the opinion that you should or shouldn’t be up to. I’m just saying my opinion is more transparent than your hypothetical naughtiness. I’m thinking my opinion is a lot more transparent than my own hypothetical naughtiness. As the possessor of my own hypothetical naughtiness I might imagine it’s not all that naughty, but if it’s not all that transparent I must think it’s a little bit naughty, right? Heh. American is Disgusted by his peers hypothetical behaviors on Social Network, but he has one motherfucker of a point. Heh. No he doesn’t. He’s spent.
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