Funny how a day can change in seconds - at least it does for me. I go through a fuckton of emotions from one moment to the next; I can never say if I’m having a good or a bad day - all my days are a thousand days in one, good, bad and everything in between. But today has been one of those days where I am irritable and my innate hatred for people as a whole just skyrockets with the most minor of provocations. It started of good, I got a haircut and color, but things quickly went downhill when I afterwards, for the first time in maybe 6 months, went to the shopping center looking for a few items of clothes and other bits and pieces. I knew it was sort of a bad idea, especially on a Saturday - and even my hairdresser mentioned to be aware of the one-way traffic and numerous signs, so I was watchful from the start. But by hell, no one else seemed to do so; or maybe today was then day when all the illiterates went shopping, I don’t know. The fact was that people were all over the place, sauntering around as if the world hadn’t changed, as if signs, sanitizer and proper distance were these silly little things to just ignore.
The interesting thing is that I’m not even that scared of getting sick; what gets me are people thinking (or probably not thinking that much) that they are too good to follow simple rules. People who think they are the center of the fucking universe, too important to do just the tiniest of things outside their own little bubble of existence. It’s always been provocative, but now especially I notice the level of negligence others have towards the world, when everyone is supposed to be mindful of themselves and their environment.
“But why don’t you just ignore them? Do you and leave everybody else to their own devices?”
It doesn’t work that way for me. I just… can’t. I can accept almost all walks of and choices in life, however weird, but breaking perfectly reasonable rules or even etiquette designed to make life more pleasant for everyone, I cannot ignore. It screams arrogance and I get an uncharacteristiy physical urge to make them adhere, to make them bow before their very own world and acknowledge the others around them as entities worthy of the smallest of respect. Not being able to do so very little right makes me wonder how many other wrong things they think it’s ok to do in life.
Strangely enough, saying anything to these imbeciles in the culture I live in would make me look like the rude one, so I must be content with staring daggers at them and signaling utter despise. Someone’s said at one point that one can never be in doubt when I hate someone - my whole body radiates contempt. Body language is and will forever be a beautiful thing when words just don’t cut it.
So here I am now, after a long day of fierce new hair and a good emotional work-out, watching the last few episodes of “Dead to me”, knitting a new sweater and trying not to throw my phone into a wall due to people who keep sending me stupid questions about the very, very simple thing I currently have for sale on FB.
What I wouldn’t give for a cottage in the middle of the woods with only bears for company. At least they just want to eat you and that I can probably deal with.
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