Freshmen year of high school was an awkward time for me to say the least. I was tossed into a new school. A school I knew no one at. I had just moved to a small town with my family. I also had a horrid sense of style. One could have called me "emo", "scene". I stood out like a sore thumb, looking lost and scared out of my mind. Yet as the year went on I came to make friends with beautiful people. I met this boy John. He also was a freshmen as well.
John and I remained friends all through high school. Yet the whole time we always had an attraction to one another, a little crush. The night before John went on his journey to college we decided no matter what when we turn 30 if we both are still single we would get married.
Well a lot has changed I no longer believe in marriage. He went off to college in Chicago. Now I am moving to Wyoming. And I sit here tonight thinking about him. The summer after graduation I only saw him once before he left to attend college. After that we never spoke again he never answered my phone calls or text messages. Maybe It was to hard for him. Maybe he decided to just be free, and cut ties with everyone, start a new life. Now that I am leaving for Wyoming in a mere nine days it has been important to me to make peace with everything and everyone. It is extremely important that he knows how I feel. I have been trying to contact him but still nothing.
I ended up suppressing my feelings for him during high school. He was not the most popular kid, and I was making my way up. I felt I had something to prove. I had to make a name for myself, because I was the new girl. This eventually was a huge downfall, and led to my demise. Now I can't help thinking how much better off I would have been if I gave into those feelings. I wish I would have he is such a special person. The one that got away. Now I think it may be to late. Tonight I am missing him more than I should.
This is a very bad picture of myself. Yet It is amazing how this picture describes our relationship perfectly. This was the day of graduation.
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