It’s late in the day, the season, my life. Perhaps one or more of those should worry me. Maybe more than one does, I don’t know. Physically numbness scared the crap out of me, I mean, you get used to it, you get this sort of nonchalant hyper-sensitivity, like a dog paying very close attention to where all the tacos are going. Numbness is scarier than pain, it doesn’t sound like it should be and you think “I’ve had my teeth worked on before …” yeah, no. That’s like seeing something that isn’t there and saying “Yeah, well, I’ve done acid before …”
I might be numb in some other way, I want to say emotionally but that’s not true, I want to say psychically but what the fuck does that mean and see psychically for spiritually. Wrung out I guess, I feel sort of wrung out. It’s almost a familiar feeling, sort of, it’s like when you’re used to high stress it’s pretty dang stressful not having any, sort of like emotionally/psychically/spiritually not knowing what to do with your hands so you stick them in your pocket, take them out, look at them, stick them back in your pocket.
I guess that’s it. I think the day has been ending like that often and so I’m leaving myself a note. It’s not bad, I mean it’s not painful. Numb, it’s sort of numb. I have interesting things going on. Maybe it’s just impatience. The day, the season, the life, I need to get off the shoulder and back on the road. Or maybe leave the rig and start walking.
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