My husband and I have been trying, unsuccessfully, for about a year to get pregnant. Despite our best efforts, every month the reminder came that we were yet again not successful.
In May, I decided I needed a break. I ignored my apps charting my cycle. I forgot my dates. I ignored the supplements. I didn’t pay attention to when my cycle was or when it was coming. We did it when we wanted to and forgo thoughts about best positions, ect.
While this does not always work—for us, it did. Come June, we had a positive test (multiple actually—several different brands–both of us are academics and figured a few extra for “data” just seemed smart).
It’s been a few weeks and it’s starting to sink in. The weeks seem to fly by faster and while I know pregnancy is no guarantee to a baby, it now seems silly to focus on those fears and instead focus on the happiness that for now, and hopefully, forever–I get to be a part of this unknown but already amazing human’s life. It grows inside, stronger every day, and every day that I’m still pregnant I consider myself so lucky! Hope, if you will, is more powerful then fear and I’m choosing every day to believe in HOPE rather then fear.
This seems obvious yet is a daily choice. Again and again the fear tries to creep in and again and again I choose HOPE over fear.
Will we be good parents? Maybe– but I know we will give the child the best we both have and that’s all we can ask for.
Am I doing the right things, eating the right things, focusing on the right things, choosing the right doctor, choosing the right…EVERYTHING? Maybe, maybe not but I know that whatever we do–be it right or a mistake, we are going in it with all of our dreams–and HOPE.
This life is a wild and crazy adventure. I’m lucky that I get to have my husband by my side while I do it.
Hope and Love. I have both. Life, crazy as it may be, is a good.
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