I don’t know how I feel about going to the doctor’s tomorrow.
The lady that did my medical exam for the army gave me this form to get filled in by a doctor (after I stupidly mentioned I had been diagnosed with ADHD and took medication for it for a couple months).
The form basically has a list of ADHD symptoms and a doctor must check the ones that ‘’cause significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning at the present time’’. Well I don’t have a social or occupational functioning to be impaired at this present time, but my academic functioning seems totally unimpaired to me. I mean I made it into college didn't I? And my grades are usually above the class average.
Unfortunately, none of this matter. I went to see this doctor a few weeks ago to have him fill in this form and he told me he wanted me to bring him a report from the psychologist I used to go to, the one that (mistakenly) diagnosed me with this ADHD. After a few weeks, a lot of misadventures not worth talking about and paying the psychologist the 400$ for her to write this report, I finally got it. I must say I was kind of very fucking depressed when I read it Thursday night. Let’s just say it does not make me sound like a good candidate for the army. Honestly, I don’t really recognize myself in this report. The person described in it would not be in college right now, having decent grades. They would also not have had an 82% average on the last year of high school. This report was made two years ago, near the end of my last year of high school. Things have changed since then, a lot of things actually.
Anyways, so now I have to go to the doctor’s tomorrow morning to show him the report. Then he will MAYBE fill in out but, even if he does, I doubt it will be with something positive that will get me into the army. I feel pretty shitty honestly…I almost felt like giving up and just forgetting about this whole thing (I still kind of do). My dad and step-mom are making me go though. They say that I might as well give it a try. I mean, they did pay fucking 400$ for this stupid-ass report.
I won’t be going into the doctor’s office with a whole lot of hope but at least I can say I really gave it a shot.
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