Today is Thursday. The weather is nice: 70 degrees and sunny until just about twenty minutes ago when gray clouds rolled in and rain started sprinkling down. I’ve got the windows open in the house - at least the ones that still have screens - and I’m enjoying the breeze.
I’m on vacation from work this week, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it. There hasn’t been much rest or downtime, as I’m constantly in contact with my store and my team trying to stay on top of any and all developments with COVID-19. It’s stressful, being in a leadership position in these times and trying the balance the needs and safety of my employees with the often out of touch communications from our corporate office. I’ve wished many times over these past few weeks that I were not such an “essential” employee, but I am grateful for job security and ability to continue putting money into savings instead of depending on unemployment and stimulus checks to make ends meet, like so many will need to do.
But still, I’ve not been able to enjoy the quiet time at home, because I feel like the other shoe is constantly about to drop. Compulsively refreshing reddit and Facebook don’t help either. And even though I’m as introverted as they come, I still kind of suck at self-quarantine. I don’t like being able to run out and get what I want when I want it. That’s totally a first world problem, I admit, but I think it’s more about lack of control than anything else.
I’ve had a lot on my mind this week, and it’s made we wish I still sat down every evening with a paper and pen journal. I no longer have the focus or time for that, so online journaling will need to do, yes? It’s either this or start seeing my therapist again three times a week, and I don’t think that wise unless it’s absolutely necessary. Social distancing and all.
Internalizing just about everything until I’m ready to explode is kind of my MO, so I’m attempting to start a daily journaling habit to keep all the junk from piling up in my head. I manage a retail pharmacy, am in school full time, and have four kids at home. I need to save all the space in my brain I can. My goal is to journal five days out of seven, and go from there.
I hope everyone out there is staying safe and taking care of yourselves as best you can!
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