The sunshine. It gave me life in 2020 Vision

I love the PNW, but MAN come February, the rainy winters get to me. Its been so bad this Dec, Jan and Feb. On Saturday, I woke to rain for like the 3875298745987th time and I was still in my low mood and I would have been completely happy to spend all of Saturday in bed. My dog gets full credit to getting me full operational status and, eventually, turning my mood around.

So anyway, Saturday. Rainy, Saturday. My dog’s biological needs got me out of bed because he had to go outside. I was fully prepared to crawl back in bed and go back to sleep afterwards. But he started barking at me and wouldn’t stop. Since we live in an apartment and there are other people living in this building, I can’t ignore the barks. I think he’s aware of his “privilege” with this. So I told him that we couldn’t go for a walk because it was raining and I had NO energy, but we could go for a drive.

We started the drive but then he got really antsy in the back seat like he gets when he thinks we’re going somewhere new and fun. I was like “no, bud this is just a drive to entertain you.” And he was like “strong disagreement coming from the backseat!’ Well, we eventually drove out of the rain, and I knew of a nearby beach/lighthouse that I decided we could stop at. So he stopped there and walked around the beach some. That was the beginning of the shift from shit mood to “okay, I’m feeling better actually.” and the longer we walked along the beach, the more I could feel myself returning to normal.

So then we went to a nearby park that has a more extensive trail system and we walked along those trails until the rain eventually caught up again. But by then, I was feeling totally opposite than I was when I woke up.

Sunday I was riding off of Saturday’s “I feel better!” vibes and IT WAS SUNNY (!!!!) so I decided I’d go on a long hike to a lake I’ve never visited. So I hiked to this lake:

But the trail didn’t stop at the lake. It went on! So I hikes until I got to the snow and then past that. I get/crave an adrenaline rush when I go on strenuous hikes. Sunday’s hike brought on quite an adrenaline rush when I actually was convinced I thought I got myself lost (the snow covering the trail made the trail a lot less defined). I actually took pictures of my path up, so that I’d be able to find my way back. The snow was hard/icy, so footprints weren’t super obvious. I had to put microspikes on the bottom of my shoes for extra traction. So anyway, I walked until I basically felt 100% sure I’d lost the trail and it was at about that time that it started snowing! So I turned back and then it was a feeling like whooooooooosh I have no idea where I am and 911 doesn’t work out here. But I consulted my pictures (they were lifesavers!

Here’s some pictures:

It was crazy how quickly the weather changed from sunny to snowy, depending on which side of the mountains I was on. I was out there for 6 hours. I was so wired after feeling like I was lost (I never was), that I had to sit in my car at the trailhead for like a half hour before driving home. In my extremely wired state I wrote the following poem-like narrative:

Life. It Be Like That

A clear, well-defined path to a breath-taking lake
Naturally-formed waterfalls flowing along the way
Stop at the lake? Success has been achieved. Snap a few selfies? Why not, success has been achieved
Beautiful Lena Lake in The Brothers Wilderness of Olympic National Forest

But the trail goes further beyond
Conditions and weather unknown
The clear well-defined path disappears
Life. It be like that

Snow greets you, the trail leaves from sight.
Take mental notes and digital photos
“On the way down, when you come to this fork”, hang a right even though your brain is going to insist on going left because left is down
Take two pictures just to be sure
More snow. Strap on the microspikes. The show must go on.

Endorphins flowing.
Additional paths unknown.
Right? Left? Straight? Up that bank?
Follow the footsteps of those who’ve adventured before you.
Left. Take a picture to remind yourself to take a right at that location on the way down.

Waiting for my sign that I’ve gone far enough.
The bliss point
Where adrenaline rush and fatigue clash in equal parts measure
It’s snowing! But it was sunny at the lake on the other side of the mountain.
I cannot afford to lose my tracks to freshly fallen snow
My sign arrived
Life. It Be Like That

Start journey back.
“I can’t find my trail! I’m lost! Call 911!!”
“911 doesn’t work out here, fool. Calm down, you know where you are.”
“Call 911!”
“We literally just had this discussion.”
Panic.
Adrenaline warms the body,
The headache of the past 5 days disappears
Life. It be like that.

The bliss point achieved.
Winter jacket deemed unnecessary remains in the backpack
We got adrenaline for that

The trail lined with micro spike tracks navigates the way
Come to the infamous fork,
Look at both pictures,
Hang a right
Return to the lake for peaceful zen
Life. It Be Like That.

Rain comes.
Then disappears
Troubles come
Then disappear
Paths come and go
Sometimes clear and direct, sometimes requiring additional navigation

Continue on you must
Write a poem-like narrative in the car to further zen if you must
Life. It be like that
Monday was a rest day. Physically and mentally. My body wouldn’t fall asleep until after 2am. I was wide awake.

Today I played hooky from work and went skiing. I had actually wanted to go this weekend, but I was scared of the potential crowds. Plus, I bought a 5 pack of lift tickets at the beginning of the season and had only used one of them so far. I kept telling myself I would save them for sunny days. And today was another sunny day. So I texted work that I was sick. Trying to figure out how I’m going to show up sick tomorrow, when in fact, i have no symptoms.

Skiing pics:

I’d like to think it would be nearly impossible for me to fall into such pits of despair/depresssion if the weather was always like this. I’ve basically waited 3 months for this. I don’t even feel lonely when I can occupy myself with outdoor adventures. Its my saving grace.

Last updated February 18, 2020