Don't even know anymore in Chaos

My daughter has been home on a 72 hour pass and we are trying to get her back to school. Yesterday she went and managed to get through the day.

Today....she wouldn’t go. She had a headache. I gave her some Advil and tried to coax her into getting up and getting showered. Didn’t work. I tried talking to her and told her school wasn’t optional she had to go. Didn’t work. I tried reminding her that if she didn’t go to school she’d have to go back to the hospital. Didn’t work. I’m completely at a loss.

Meanwhile I’m struggling with my own mental health. I feel like I’m in a dog. I can’t think. I cry constantly. I go to one extreme to the other. I constantly have thoughts of killing myself because I feel like that would be best for everyone but then I recognize I’m thinking through a filter and on and on it goes. I’m exhausted both mentally and physically.

I’m also still trying to attend community college and trying not to fall behind. I somehow managed to miss 3 days of school and still pull off a 98 on my assignment. Let’s hope I can manage to do just as well on my test tomorrow.

I just need to breathe and try to get through it all.

Easier said then done.