Winnowing in 2020

I feel like I’m in the process of shedding a lot of extraneous brain flab that I’ve
allowed to accumulate thru the years. The “swirl” as I call it- that has no apparent purpose other than to torment me and make my life miserable. Ruminations and lamentations that are of little value. Neurotic self-critiques and angry finger-pointing. I’ve allowed my mind to become untamed and superfluous. What REALLY matters? Where do I want to invest my energy? Re-living all that can’t be undone or being present in the here and now? Do I want to wallow in the shadows of regret and shame or do I want to walk in sunlight? I’m feeling a “slow turning” (Thank you John Hiatt for that turn of phrase ) inside myself- a tightening and sharpening. A winnowing down to what is essential and important. Less time spent in self-recrimination and longing for things that will never be. And every so often I catch a glimpse in my mental mirror of a person that I may one day be proud of- a person who has walked many miles thru the darkness and has still retained his essential humanity and innate goodness.

Last updated January 06, 2020