4 Hours of Madness Chatter in Daily, Weekly, etc

I don't know if I scare or amaze my husband with the many memories from my childhood and the many ideas I have floating around in my mind. Ever so often when he has time off or a weekend we head down to see his and my family. Its a 4 hour car ride down, so its either the music playing out the time or me trying to have a conversation with him. However as always I end up talking the whole time while trying to get some sort of response from him. But I get nothing more than a vacant face and maybe a grunt every now and then.

Believing that I'm talking to much I follow his led and complete the silence. However I will hear about it later how I didn't talk to him the whole car ride, and ignored him by listening to my ipod.

I always point out how I feel as if I'm talking to myself so why say anything really; however he said s that he likes to hear me talk. So with little to talk about since I don't really have a life, I open up my mind and fill him in with the madness that inhabits it.

Memories of my yesteryear's growing up in a crazed unstable environment, from constant moving and getting evicted, to living in homes without water and or lights and sometimes going without food. All while watching my mother and everyone else around me, wasting away from booze and drugs. I mean its not the worst up bringing but it was my up bringing, so I have to acknowledge it in order to move on. I find most of it funny now, all the mental abuse and traumatizing events that have taken place, its what life is made of.

Sure I'm damaged goods but who isn't? I can't say if I'm a stronger person because of all of it, but I made it despite dragging through it all under a thick cloud of manic depression. But other than taking him a trip down memory lane, I also open up to him about the countless short films ideas I have had floating around in my head, all of which I have learned sound a bit disturbing from the inside out. lol