One month since my last entry. One month exactly.
Not much has changed.
Wait … yes. Some things have changed.
Oh, everything has changed.
My headaches have stopped. Because I stopped worrying. For a bit. Because my biggest fear, that I’ve been dreading, came true. The big R: RELAPSE. Is it weird that it was a relief? Like I could finally let go of the breath I was holding? “Finally, he screwed up, like I knew he would.”
What kind of partner does that make me? What kind of support system? I’m not helping him. I’m hurting him. I’m no partner at all, no wife. What kind of wife expects their husband to fail?
Oh, but I prayed for him once. Literally prayed.
8 years ago: “God, send me someone who needs me.”
Have you ever regretted a prayer?
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