Five Times My Current Paycheck... Na I'm Good... (advise, comments, ridicule welcome) in On The Topic Of nothing:

It has occurred to me that I only write once the temperature drops below freezing. That being said I’m back for a little bit…

So like many Americans, my current job sucks a big dirty fatty. I submitted an application to work at a major university in the area and low and behold I received an interview. I feel like I have it in the bag. So that’s not the problem. The problem arises with my interpretation of success.

I love/hate my crappy current job, it doesn’t pay well but it’s a very low-stress job. the new job would be sim-low stress as well. It just tacks on a couple of hours of commute for many more thousands of dollars on the year. Like five times my current salary. That’s not really anything to laugh at, but I enjoy my shitty little life.

I know it’s sorta stupid to even have this stuff entering my head but it’s the way I feel. And I think I owe it to my relationship to better myself as a professional human being. I just cringe at the thought of losing all my side projects for a few months until we found a place closer to my next job.

My soul mate is about to graduate college and hopefully become a professional in her field and together we would be bringing home more money than both our family trees have ever thought about. We both come from borderline poverty families. I’ve never had money, she’s never had money. I had already settled into the “I’m gonna eat cans of beans lifestyle.”

As I type this out I feel like I’d be an idiot not to go for the gold and have a better life. In the back of my mind have this burning though of how weird success would be. Blah Blah Blah I know clear my head, go for the dream job, live the perfect life with my soul mate. no brainer thanks ahead of time all you lovely commenters!!! You’re the real heroes of the world!

On another note 2019 I’m glad to see you leave. It’s been almost a year since I lost my papaw and granny to cancer. so lots of grief. May took my dog. but june brought two more small wild hellians so maybe it wasn’t so bad.