Baby cows in 2019

1:40pm

I am currently sitting in the passenger seat of EC’s truck while he takes some class at a hotel. It’s our 5 month “anniversary”. Haha. I feel funny saying that but whatever. I’m that girl now. 🤷‍♀️

Some time near the beginning we started joking about how if we made it to five months then we’d get a baby cow. I think it was because we did a fancy ribeye bbq month two. And well here we are. Definitely not getting a baby cow although we saw some on the side of the road I think we can wrangle. Kinda funny it timed with the season. We do plan to go to a steakhouse after he gets out though. The one he originally wanted apparently had a fire at some point that we had no idea about so we’ll go to another one closer to home. Should be good! Plus, I’m sure we’ll kill some time drinking beer at a brewery close by.

This guy really pulls me out of my comfort zone and I like/hate that. Haha. It really is good but does come with anxiety sometimes. I guess that’s to be expected, right?

I rode up here with him so I wouldn’t have to drive later and since we wanted to go this direction anyway. I’ve been hanging in the truck listening to music. He wanted me to get lunch since he wouldn’t have much time. Then he texted about wanting a Red Bull. Ugh. Ok. Except I hate driving and I hate not knowing where I’m going. I don’t know this area at all. Thank God for technology sometimes because I was able to look at a map and luckily I’m good with directions so I didn’t have to use the gps. Of course I made it to the store and to the restaurant for hot dogs no problem. I was totally fine. Survived perfectly well.

I tried to tell myself that before I left to calm the anxiety building and it helped. Things usually turn out pretty well. I’m a big girl. I can actually do things on my own. Remember that Rose.

And that’s one of the many things I like about him. He pushes me without even realizing he’s doing it and it’s so helpful for me. Like I’m just doing it because I like him, not because he’s trying to force me. Who knew it could work like that?

I’ve been wanting to write so many things in here but I just never make the time anymore. Typing on this phone is lame but I need to start documenting again.

Like how I finally told him I love him. 😬 😅 It took me a long time. I don’t even remember when I said it. Some time in the last month or so. I whispered it to him a couple of times in reply but then one day just finally said it out loud. It didn’t hurt the way I thought it would. I didn’t even burst into flames. Hah. He’s been saying it for such a long time and I would try not to be awkward about it. Eventually started telling him “te quiero” in Spanish but it took a bit of time to make the love leap. Now I’ve made it and I’m happy.

I’m always happy with him. He brightens every day for me. You know he actually told me the other day that I seemed sad when we first met and it’s true. I was terribly sad, depressed even, and I haven’t felt that way since we got together. (Not that he fixed me. I had that figured out before we hung out) He knows a little about what happened back then but not the whole story. I’ve been wanting to tell him more so that he can understand me better but I haven’t had the right opportunity. It’ll come out in time.

For now, well, I’m just trying to enjoy every moment. Even when we both started bickering/fighting Thanksgiving night, I realize how good we are. How well we can communicate (once we sober up heh) and how kind we are to each other. He’s what I waited so damn long to find. He’s what I searched for in every man. sigh I still can’t believe I found him. Just sitting right there on my new neighbour’s couch. How did I get so lucky?!

rose.
2:02pm