A life worth living. in Other life events.
- March 9, 2014, 6:54 p.m.
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- Public
Is this a life worth living?
Casual argument with my conscience last night in bed, i was finding it hard to sleep again. It probably took me a good 3-4 hours of tossing and turning before it was lights out at about 6am.
Just because others think they are "normal" and that there lifestyle should be the norm does not mean you are weird or different because of how you live your life, right?
I know i'm not exactly normal but who can really place a label on what is normal these days, everyone is different in there own way. Me personally? I'm antisocial and find it hard to get close to people, i constantly push people away while suffering with confidence issues. If people stick around long enough i normally get pretty clingy and i despise that feeling, the feeling of how your life wouldn't be the same without them.
The future is a crushing force on my mind recently, am i ready for all this change yet again? Is it really worth it? If i don't succeed this time will i simply give up forever?
I finally broke the 15 stone mark and hit 14'13 today. Well it looked like 14'3 anyway it was kind of hovering between the two. I guess i'll continue down this path and try focus on making myself more "normal". People being judgmental over your appearance is a "normal" thing, i even do it myself so i'm no saint.
From someone's weight, to the way they look, to even the way they dress.
That's another thing i guess, i have no sense of fashion, it's actually pretty horrendous, i'm a t shirt and jeans kind of guy, every day nerd i guess.
Anyway the point of this whole post is, have you ever asked yourself if you are happy with yourself, your lifestyle, your friendships, relationships? Have you ever considered attempting to change but been too scared to even muster up the courage to even think about a simple change? That's how i feel on a daily basis, the idea of change terrifies me simply because it signifies the end of something.
I guess i'll just take babysteps and take every day as it presents itself, i suppose that's how everyone else deals with this situation. I'll just focus on reaching my 10'7 goal for weight which is 147 lbs.
Also nervous about my driving test too, not because i care about failing; i just hate wasting peoples money when they have faith in me that i will pass.
foxen ⋅ March 10, 2014
Baby steps are good, and doing what makes YOU happy is the most important part of all this.
xthetruthx ⋅ March 11, 2014
For your questions, once every couple of months I ask myself if I'm happy with me and where I'm going to make sure that I don't get lost a road of going where I don't want to go. It kind of helps me to redirect where I'm going just incase I've started going down a path that isn't right for me. And yes I've been scared of change because it's like going into the unknown. Like you said it is an end to something, but a beginning to another. And honestly anytime I have made a change, I've always looked back and been happy that I've made that change because the change helps me learn so much about life and myself. Even when it's not the best change, it makes me learn and GROW. And I saw grow with capitals because you really do become more mature and experienced from every change you make in your life. And let me tell you, the more you stay stuck in the same routine and comfort zone, the harder and more scary it becomes to venture out of it. I remember that changing myself literally started from me reading a book that somewhat inspired me, and I thought to myself 'okay, let me just actually try to change something I don't like about myself for a month, no quitting, and see if I feel any better' and after the month, i might have not been where I wanted to be, but I saw progress and I saw that it did make me a bit happier, so that's what made me keep pushing because little baby steps doesn't seem like that much at first, but when u look back months from now u realize how far you've come to how you used to be, you realize how the change you've worked your butt off for can be such a wonderful thing.
Hang in there, I'm wishing you the best.
OpenHeartNerdery xthetruthx ⋅ March 11, 2014
Thanks sweetheart, this was really inspirational :)