Starting Balance: 8.13 hours
-Work 1
-Work 2
-Law school prep
-Cooking
-Cleaning
-Exercising
-Prayers
Okay, I might just be so screwed already. Oh the headache, the exhaustion.
5 minutes alternating between:
-Lecture notes
-Lecture slides
-Answering the student’s email
5:07 AM 5 minutes lecture notes + 11 mins 32 secs
5:27 AM 5 minutes lecture slides + 6 mins 29 secs
5:41 AM 5minutes answering the student’s email + 5mins 6 secs
5:52 AM 5 minutes lecture notes + 1 mins 3 secs
5:59 Am taking a real quick short break.
6:52 AM That was not a quick short break. 5 minutes lecture slides.
1 hour 35 mins
😞 disappointing Monday. Tired, exhausted, burnt-out, did I mention disappointed? It all sucks.
Whatever. Gotta keep going no matter what. I’ll just do something easy for now to recover.
12:07 pm 10 mins comp reading.
12:18 pm 5 mins copm reading
Current Balance: 5.49 hours
12 mins 12 secs
5 mins 6 secs
6:35 PM another 5 minutes of comps reading because I cannot move.
6:44 pm another 5 minutes of comps reading because I cannot move.
10 mins 18 secs doing dishes.
4 mins 29 secs
Okay, let’s start this now:
-5 minutes posting things on Blackboard
-5 minutes emailing students
-10 minutes lecture notes
-10 minutes lecture slides
-5 minutes writing new essay prompt
I don’t feel like doing any kind of official work really. I’ll just entertain myself with long-term work for now though for sure I’ll regret it later.
25 mins 30 secs
Current Balance: 4.39 hours
I’m so gonna hate myself tomorrow.
29 mins 49 secs
Ending Balance: 3.91 hours
Another excerpt from my daily messages to him:
It’s really odd how I kinda just let other people make the big life decisions for me. It wasn’t their fault; they meant them as suggestions but I took them as imperative because I never knew how to think for myself. You wouldn’t believe all of this, but talking to you really helped. Yeah we were talking about a totally different thing, but that was how I learned that my feelings mattered too; and since, you know, everything was a metaphor of everything, I could apply that lesson to other areas.
How could I still miss you so much when truly I barely had an exchange with you in the past year? Okay, so I need to build real life relationships– I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m really trying.
I have just decided yesterday and today that I cannot handle all the stress and therefore will have to postpone applying for law school this year. It is semi-devastating, and I am making a sacrifice for the sake of another person, but should I? I just wonder if the trade-off of my well-being is worth it; if it is doing something concrete good to the other person, then yes, but I’m also wondering if I’m really making a difference. You kind of did the same thing for me right– sticking around while not being sure if this would make a difference?
Truly the reason why I’m so impatient for law school is just that I want a stable path and a stable career already, because I don’t feel like I should consider a relationship when I’m not in a stable place (I used to think that academia would be my stable path, but not anymore). But how about, like, so, taking advantage of this time to test the water with no-commitment dating?
Loading comments...