Today was a nonstarter in Candy Corn on the Cob (October 2019)

I had a day planned today. I was going to roll out of bed (I was going to watch Doctor Who in bed last night, but the cat sat on the space bar and it wouldn’t restart, so I cried instead. Yesterday was pleasureless.) Anyway. I was going to clean the kitchen and review for my Spanish test on Friday. But instead, I crawled back into bed because my sweater wasn’t dry (it was in the washer.) I don’t want to be cold all day. So bed made sense? Actually, I think I am just depressed. But I haven’t got time to be depressed.

I haven’t got time for anything. I am not anything. I just need to find some kind of happy right now. Buckle down, do some kind of happy, and Pretend Shit is Okay. It isn’t, though. Not a lot about my life right now is okay. I am very unhappy and very trapped. I used to not know I was trapped, but now I’ve kind of figured that out.

Anyway, so when I got home last night, Dick Face had called my lack-of-insurance company (Molina) and yelled at them about me not having vision benefits. Seriously? I suspect they laughed at him and hung up. Fixing my glasses is not their priority. It also isn’t his. He “found a website” that does cheap glasses, and that’s fine, but dumbass, all the lenses in my strength? They come from the same place. Sure, you maybe got $10 frames with $50 shipping (not kidding) but you won’t be getting $10 lenses. He’s acting like he’s singlehandedly fixed my vision issues over there, and well, he hasn’t. All he did was a Google search. Dude. That and $5 will get you an iced coffee. (which he would be offended if I offered, but he’s been through 4 bottles of Ny-Quil in 15 days (he says he has a cold, but he’s not coughing) and hello? Is that shit not mostly cheap ass vodka?? I offered him the PILL nyquil, but he turned it down, because “it doesn’t work.” Which means…he’s drinking the alcohol. So fuck that whole Word of Wisdom shite he goes on and on about, yes?)

Anyway. Anyway anyway.

Options for happy right now:
Shiny breeding in Pokemon. I still haven’t finished my shiny Pokedex, and since Adia dismantled my LIVING pokedex, I have to collect the Pokemon I don’t have. Downside - that takes the 3ds, which I do have, but will leave the Switch for the children’s predation, which they’ve already done. (“My” Switch Lite - it was my birthday gift, kind of - has more kid accounts than my stuff on it.)

On Friday I get paid. I could buy Harvest Moon or Stardew Valley for the Switch Lite. I only have one game (Breath of the Wild) and I think I have to restart, because I cannot work out cooking food OR where to find metal fucking weapons. And that just isn’t fun.

That’s really all there is. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. There’s no me in this marriage.

There is, however, a kitchen to clean. Money to find. People to feed. Never mind depression, I guess. I’m going to go buy some more hot nuts (they’re delicious) and I guess maybe cry and maybe watch Doctor Who.

I dragged the twins to Wal-Mart. They amused me by having lesbian races through the hardware department. I feel better.

Tonight, on Wal-Mart Sports Arena, lesbian racing!!