I have a very strong urge to in Pregnancy Journal
- Oct. 16, 2019, 6:46 a.m.
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- Public
tell everyone who sees me that I’m not actually fat, just pregnant.
I’m finding it harder to resist. Nowadays, it’s apparently not okay to ask someone if they’re pregnant; but I feel like that just makes everyone assume I’m fat.
And before anyone gets on about fat shaming; yes. I am totally and completely okay with fat shaming. In fact I sincerely hope that people will tell me if I’m getting fat. I’d rather know than fall down bloated and out of breath one day and wonder what the hell happened. And I don’t care what people think about that.
It’s just not healthy.
Babe is moving ALL THE TIME, and it’s distracting. Only 21 weeks, and I can feel LO easily with a hand on my belly pushing against me. It sort of feels like s/he’s pushing against my belly to make more room. lol
Decided against getting and ultrasound. There were tons of adverts for it, and even my midwife was ambivalent about it; she said plenty get one and plenty don’t. I suppose there just aren’t any studies either way to say if it’s statistically safe, and so that is the only position a provider can take. Yet I am disturbed by the ubiquitous warnings from virtually every medical association that state routine US should be avoided, and only used when medically necessary. US also provides zero impact on outcomes.
So why do it?
Bending over is getting difficult, and I find I’m out of breath for no reason. Itching to do something but everything fun is high impact. :( Might start skating again.
Firebabe ⋅ October 17, 2019
Actually, there are a lot of things wrong with fat-shaming, but the two most scientifically supported are:
Numerous studies have shown that telling people they're fat and they should lose weight, DOESN'T MAKE PEOPLE TRY AND LOSE WEIGHT. Instead it leads to increases in depression, which makes it harder for people to focus on being healthy.
Over the past several years, more and more research has revealed that things like diet and exercise are NOT the primary drivers of weight gain. It's hormones, which are typically something a person cannot control without medications and extensive treatments (which can be expensive.) Imagine how terrible it would make you feel if you exercised every day, and ate a balanced diet, and people were STILL telling you that you should lose weight.
We've been told for decades that being overweight meant that you were unhealthy, but current medical knowledge posits that that is simply untrue. Carrying extra weight can cause some health issues, but a lot of larger folks are perfectly healthy while a portion of people that you'd consider skinny are extremely UNhealthy. There's not a one-to-one correlation between weight and health.
And finally, fat people already know they're fat. Telling them they should lose weight is neither a revelation, nor a motivation. You say that you would want people to tell you if you were getting fat, but don't you think you'd already know? Wouldn't you have already tried dieting and exercising? How bad would it make you feel to have people judging you about something that you might have very little control over, but that you were struggling to overcome every day? It would be like telling someone they needed to fix their diabetes. Just try and be a little more understanding of folks who struggle with something that you might be lucky enough to not have to deal with.
Miss Chiffs Manager Firebabe ⋅ October 20, 2019
lol.
Thanks for writing a long diatribe about how people should not be personally responsible for their own health decisions.
I respect people enough to give them that responsibility. An invisible sky puppy does not shove food into our mouths ;)
Have a wonderful day
Firebabe Miss Chiffs Manager ⋅ October 22, 2019
My intent wasn’t to diatribe. If your lifestyle is such that you move in circles where a certain amount of negative criticism is effective in producing the desired result of weight loss, then that is entirely your prerogative. I’d never try and tell someone what their own personal motivations should be. My thought process in leaving my note wasn’t to attack your internalized beliefs, it was just to share some information on why fat-shaming isn’t really effective. A lot of people support fat-shaming. And the majority of them aren’t trying to be malicious, they honestly believe that fat-shaming will help people do something about their weight. If you are personally motivated by someone telling you you’re fat, and that works for you, then carry on. My only intent was to provide information to consider if you were thinking of applying that same motivational technique to people who don’t move in your very specific, highly-contextualized life-cycle circles (i.e. participation in physically demanding sports.)
I’m not trying to absolve anyone of their health responsibility. Most definitely EVERYONE is responsible for their own health. And regular exercise and a decent diet should be part of EVERYONE’S health regime, regardless of any hormone imbalances or other health issues they have. But you sort of conveniently skipped over the part where I literally mention that research is starting to show that diet and exercise ARE NOT THE PRIMARY DRIVERS OF WEIGHT GAIN. So yeah, there’s no sneaky sky puppy that sticks fatty food in your mouth when you’re not looking, but there IS sneaky body functions that will completely disrupt and destroy your hormones and your metabolism, and there’s not a lot you can do about that outside of medical treatment.
Your PB profile says you’re 31 years old. See if you have the same stance 15-20 years from now when you head into peri-menopause and your hormones go bat shit. If you ever end up in a place where no matter what you do, you can’t get rid of that extra 20 pounds, then hopefully you’ll reconsider your stance. I’m not asking you to change what’s working for you, I’m only asking that you consider what other people are going through before you comment on something they may have very little control over.
Miss Chiffs Manager Firebabe ⋅ October 24, 2019
Yeah...
Your altruistic concern over what I may or may not act out based on my personal beliefs expressed in a personal journal is heartwarming... but unwarranted.
I do appreciate your attempts to educate, however misguided.
I will be sure to come back and apologize for my opinions expressed in a personal and nonjudgmental way, if and when things go bat shit crazy.
Regardless of whether you believe science supports or doesn't support a specific theory on weight gain/loss, you still express an attitude of helplessness in regards to it. And again, thanks but no thanks.