obsessed with the bodies and cycles. And yet, here I am.
My husband and I decided recently that we were going to try and conceive. I started it with a healthy mindset. We were not going to do anything out of the ordinary, just not actively try to prevent it. Whatever happens, happens. Don't think about it, assume your not, carry on with life as normal, ect. And when we started out, I stuck with that--I did.
Then came what I lovingly called "the wait". The wait between trying and waiting for the cycle to start. Am I? Am I not? Is life going to change? Is life going to stay the same? Should I be drinking this coffee or is it bad for the baby that may or not be in there? I'm currently in this cycle and I.hate.it. I repeat to myself everything I told myself in the beginning and will be fine forgetting about it for a while and then see a cute baby in the supermarket(okay, any baby. Have they always been this cute!?!?) or a pregnant lady at the park and go right back to "could that be me?" Checking my period tracker to check when it's supposed to start even though I've checked it 4 or 5 times this week and as one would expect, the date has not changed.
Whatever happens happens. This I know in my head and heart and everything sane. I blame stupid hormones for messing it up. Yup. Everything is their fault.
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