30 year olds still get crushes... what?!!!?? in The end is the beginning...

Terry as the first boy I had ever had a crush on. I was 12 when I saw him for was the first time on the first day of middle school. That crush hit me all at once... it was everything and it was nothing all at once. I'm not 100% sure what it was about Terry that made me like him so much, but I spent all of middle school and all of high school obsessed with this boy that never returned those feelings for me!

Since then I've had plenty more crushes, there was DeJuan, and Casey (who I sometimes refer to as the one I let get away), there was Brian (who was 10 years older then me: he was 27, I was a silly 17 year old girl), there was Steven (who's dad LOVED me), there was John, and Darius, Travis, Lou.... ahhhh Tramaine ohhhh and I can't forget Chris, anyways my point is that I have had a lot of crushes in my life, and not many of them have worked out, but never did I ever think that at 30 years old I would have a big fat middle school girl crush on someone...

So his name is Anthony, and I absolutely adore him! I have had gym membership for over a year now, but started to slack off during the summer, and when I was asked to be the maid of honor in one of my really good friends weddings I decided that it was time to get back on it. I noticed him when I first started going back, I thought that he was adorable right away he has the best smile ever. So a few weeks back in we had our first real interaction, it was the night of the Super Bowl. He had to work and he was not happy about it at all. So we talked for a while cause the gym was pretty empty. After that he's been really flirty, I've not been able to tell if he is flirty cause that is the kind of person he is, or if he's flirty cause he likes me too.

So anyways about a week ago or so I was practically dying on the arc machine, when out of nowhere he stops in front of me and asked me if the random show that they were playing on the was a new episode. Ummmmm idk? So the following week he stops me while I am on the elliptical (which I hate), I take out my headphones and he says that he now knows who I remind him of, and it was a girl he use to talk to, when I asked if that was a good thing he says that it was a great thing that he thinks that I am endearing.... Since then we have had a lot conversations, of course all via the gym. We have this super cute, flirty banter and I love everything about it. Not only does he give me all kinds of butterflies, but he gives me motivation to go to the gym. So at this point I am just not sure if I think that he likes me likes me or if he just thinks that I'm a nice girl that comes in and he gets to flirt with a little bit to pass the time. I really want to get to know him more, he seems like such a good guy, he is so cute, easy to talk to, he seems like he's mature- despite he's age (he's 24.... which surprisingly doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would at first), and did I mention the butterflies?

The other day we were talking about the fact that he is looking for a new job (which I want him to get if it means he is in a better place, but if I'm being selfish I don't want him to get cause then I wouldn't see him all the time), and later that night I got thinking about the fact that my cousin was giving me some info about the police/fire dispatch hiring, and so I decided to suggest that to him, so the next day I gave him a paper with that info, I also wrote my number on it, that was Tuesday, today is Thursday and still no call or text message. I went to the gym just a little bit ago, and he was there, and we had our normal banter...no awkwardness, no nothing different. Ahhhhhhh!! I'm not really sure how to handle it or how I should feel about it. Because when I gave it to him I gave him this whole whatever about the job and if he has any questions give me a call, I didn't give him my number in like a "hey lets hang out sometime" kind of manor, so maybe he doesn't realize that I want him to call me, but then I get to thinking about the movie "hes just not that into you" and they say for sure if a guy wants to call you he will call you! Aghhhh IDK, IDK, IDK??? I seriously missed the day in school where they taught how to read signals, and all that jive. What to do? What to do? What to do?

XOXO