Hell Day in my life...

  • March 7, 2014, 1:57 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

or maybe it's just the way it's going to be. Abbie called and is out of money. she got about 600.00 or so on the 3rd of the month. this is the 6th. wow, she made it a whole 3 days.

she called today to tell me a friend paid her phone bill. that she is going to go stay with a drug dealer. he is on parole for dealing. he is currently dealing again. she was/is, of course drunk and whateverelse. she wanted me to try and talk her into going to detox. we all know I can't talk her into anything she doesn't want to do.

she called my son, Christopher, who is also a alcoholic and is currently in AA. he's done well for almost 2 years. she asked him what she should do and he told her to call the area AA and ask for help. she called me back and told me she was going to a meeting, someone was going to come pick her up. I felt hopeful, again. she called chris and noah (another son) and told them she was.

she called her while she was suppose to be at the meeting. said she called them and canceled. really??????? WTF????? she said she is going to stay in her motel room and drink herself to death and could she tell the kids goodnight.

are you serious???? nope, no talking to the kids when you are making bad choices and drunk. no long can she just call.

I don't know what else to do. the mother in me is screaming to go get her and hold her close to keep her from being in danger. I hate hate hate that I need to be like this to her. I have to protect myself and the kids.

I need to cut off all help I give her. I had already cut off the money. I wont as much as buy her a bottle of soda. no rides.

I pray she finds her way back.

I need to find something positive to do for my own mental health. not that I have tons of unused time.lol I need to get back into my photography. soon it will be spring ( 2 weeks!) , that's if winter will let go of its strong hold.. snow is still so deep it's not fun for anything.

I feel better just typing all this .... not perfect but a little better.


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