Thanks, Libby in Stuff

It’s been an interesting month being not only in a new relationship but also in a new type of relationship. Kayla is high maintenance, but I don’t necessarily mean that in a negative way. She has almost immediately become the center of everything in my life. Maybe that has nothing to do with her personality and is just new relationship energy.

She hasn’t officially moved in with me, but we’ve already agreed that she will when her lease is up at the end of the year. It almost doesn’t matter because she definitely has unofficially moved in with me. The trickiest part of that of course was her son Jake. I’ve gone far out of my way to help him feel welcome in his new home. I’ve raised three kids so I feel like I have a bit of a handle on this one, but he’s actually so stunningly well behaved it feels like a different experience than with my own kids.

At first he was sleeping in the bedroom that still belonged to Olsen,but after a few nights of that I told her she needed to clear her stuff out and let that room belong to Jake. She was perfectly fine with that, which surprised me. I pulled Jake aside and told him that that was now his room. He didn’t need to feel like he was a guest in my house. He could treat that like his own bedroom and I would respect it as his space. He just nodded and said, “Thanks, Libby” like he does to pretty much everything I say.

I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that Kayla is a bit of a slob, and acknowledge that that’s not something I’m going to change about her. It’s like having another kid in the house the way I’m constantly picking up her clothes off the floor, putting away stuff she left out, putting the cap pack on the toothpaste, etc. This isn’t really a problem, I’ve been a mom long enough that picking up after people is second nature to me, but it’s been an adjustment.

I also feel like she doesn’t have as much of a strict routine when it comes to household chores. So I do her laundry, and fold it all and put it away for her. She never volunteers to clean the kitchen or bathroom or anything like that. I few nights ago she swept a little dirt away that had been around the front door of the house and I admit I was shocked to see her doing anything like that.

I’ll add that I’ve definitely taken on the submissive role in our sexual relationship, and as an extension of that I actually enjoy cleaning up after her.

Speaking of sex, she’s a lot more insatiable that I expected from someone my age. It’s like dating a teenager, or at least what I imagine it would be like to date a teenager. She’s constantly talking about sex in random casual ways. I’ll say that we’re going to have an earlier dinner than usual and she’ll respond, “That’s great, more time for sex after dinner.” Or I’ll suggest getting out of town for a night and she’ll respond, “I’d love that, I really like hotel sex.” All things tie back to sex.

But I wouldn’t say we have a crazy amount of sex. Probably above average, but it’s not nearly as constant as she talks about it. She has a wide assortment of sex toys which put my little collection to shame. And sex with a woman is just different. I’m still adjusting to how we can have sex for three hours, take a short break, and then keep going.

This may sound like a whole entry of complaints, but I don’t mean it like that. I honest love her. I’m in love with her. I’m eager to spend my life with her. I feel like I’ve finally found that person.

Interesting side observation: we were in a frozen yogurt place a few weeks ago and I young woman was in front of us in line and I looked at her ass I felt myself getting aroused. I noticed that I was genuinely feeling attraction to a woman, which caught me almost by surprise because I still struggle with the fact that I feel straight even though I’m in a lesbian relationship. Then it dawned on me that I’ve always looked at other women like that and had those same feelings, I was just so confident that I was straight that I didn’t know how to process it.

Kayla is very much into lesbian porn. I watched porn occasionally before she came along, but these days it’s a bigger part of my life.

One of the things that Kayla and I talked about at the very beginning of our relationship was that she knew this was all new territory for me, but she didn’t want to be with someone that was closeted. I assured her that I was not embarrassed to be dating a woman and I would be open about it. But it’s admittedly an awkward thing to bring up with people. “Oh, by the way, I’m sleeping with a woman now.” I’ve literally said that to a few people, just to put it out there.