The great Southeastern train debacle in Juggling with Hedgehogs

I'm seriously considering writing an open letter of complaint to Southeastern. This is the train company I give FOUR AND A HALF THOUSAND of my English pounds to every year to get me to work and back. Only they're not doing it. What they ARE doing is ruining my life.

It is no exaggeration when I tell you that on an AVERAGE day I am spending between 6 and 7 hours travelling to and from work. On a very bad day (which happened last week) it was 8 hours. EIGHT HOURS of just travelling or waiting around. I could have flown to Dubai and checked into a hotel and had a massage in that time. For the record, my office is only SIXTY miles from where I live. A decent train company could get me there in an hour and a half. Many years ago, when the trains were the slam-door kind and weren't 'modern', you could do the journey to London from my home town in 66 minutes. Now, it's an hour and a half to an hour and 40 minutes on a GOOD day. This is what they call progress.

However, because of the rain and landslips and general inefficiency on the part of Network Rail (they blame Southeastern and Southeastern blame them, this is the game they like to play, but the only people suffering are the commuters, so we really don't care whose FAULT it is!), the lack of a direct line from my home town into London has caused me to have to basically 'tack' to work. For weeks. The disruption has been going on for 3 months. The SEVERE disruption causing alternative routes to be found has been going on since the end of January.

To say I'm exhausted is the under-statement of the century. I'm not alone, but I can only speak for my own experience. This mess has robbed me of everything I enjoy in my life. I love photography, but I can't handle carrying my camera around with me any more, because I'm so tired. I have a big heavy backpack I have to take to work, and the delays and disruption and standing on cold platforms for unquantifiable amounts of time cause back pain. Extra weight to lug around doesn't aid that, so the camera (the DSLR anyway) has had to be left at home. I still take my little compact camera, but I rarely see daylight and that camera can't handle night shots too well, so that joy has been removed.

I can't go to the gym because I get home too late and even if I got home on time I would be too tired to face it.

I can't go to choir because it's at work and would require me to stay late and that would mean I'd get home even later and wouldn't get any sleep AT ALL.

I can't go to gigs, because I would get home too late and I can't risk late nights because I'm now getting up even earlier than before (not all that possible considering my morning alarm is already ridiculous) to get to the station for a train that sometimes doesn't arrive.

I've lost my sense of humour, my patience (didn't have much of that to start with) and possibly my relationship with my sister due to a pathetic row that blew up because of my general bad mood surrounding the travelling.

I am writing this from my bed because I have contracted an awful virus, due, no doubt, to being run down from all the stressful travelling.

Most days, I am weepy. I ache all over. Whenever anyone asks me if I want to go somewhere, do something, meet up, socialise, the answer is 'I can't, I have to travel, I'm too tired, I can't make any plans'.

They have quite literally STOLEN my life from me. EVERYTHING is on hold until the damn rail track is fixed. And even then, they will be rubbish, I can guarantee it.

I am actually depressed. I've had a week off work with 'stress' and am now off with a flu virus. It's very hard to describe to people just how awful this situation is to people who don't do this on a daily basis. I get people saying 'oh just work from home, it's fine' or 'you should move house' (because obviously I can sell my home and move in the time it will take to fix the train lines - actually that IS possible), or 'you need a new job'. Er no, no and no. I love my job, I like living where I do, and working from home is OK up to a point but my response to ALL of that is WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I? I PAY for the service. I expect Southeastern to do their fucking JOB and get me where I need to go and back again. It's really not so much to ask.

They are compensating passengers for the inconvenience. Guess what they're getting? A £50 Marks and Spencers voucher. I kid you not. And I haven't even got mine yet, I've had to write and ask them for it.

My boss has been very very patient about it all, but I know there is only so much any company can put up with, and if I'm done in, I'm sure they are too.

Anyway, I'm just having a whinge. I hope you didn't read all of this.