I was irritated all fucking day but what else is new. Randy has been Goofy and happy for the last few days and I’ve just been blah. Like he’d made little jokes that would normally make me laugh but fuck if I give a shit right now
Today was a total loss. He was waiting around all day for this guy to buy the transmission he was selling so he could have money for the trip. But of course the guy never had the decency to say he wasn’t interested. I don’t get why people do that shit. Ugh.
So Randy has the $30 he made last night in his pocket for the trip. Ugh. I was wondering what was going to happen and now at the end of the week Randy will owe whatever money he “spends” over there back to his dad because that’s how it works with them.
Anyway, I had to meet them at a gas station by the highway to give him his flip flops and a couple other things. I was going to grab the food car from him but I got so upset and started crying so I left without that. I shouldn’t need anything though.
I’m just so mad and I told Randy that I am mad but not with him. He knows where my anger lies. I just told him I hate that I’m the only one who realizes that this puts him in the middle and I refuse to keep pulling him one way while he’s being pulled the other way. So I just let go. I can’t be mad at him. He knows how I feel.
He said he’d take lots of pics. I told him not to worry because I don’t care. Not because I don’t but I’m being fully excluded from this trip because of the color of my skin. Jenny’s significant other goes, and so does Bobby’s probably.
Anywho it’s almost 4 am and I’m tired but cannot sleep. So yeah should be a good week....fml