Review of "Dark Persuasion" in The Tightrope Dance (August 2019)

Not a Christine Feehan shitfest book, though - know it sounds like it, but it was actually a beer. Promised to taste like German chocolate cake, and it kind of had a coffee finish, but it tasted like hairspray and earwax. Ale usually does. It’s an Icicle Brewing Company ale, Icicle being based out of Leavenworth, WA, which is just down the road a piece. I guess someone who knows ale well might enjoy it, but as for me, it was basically just a slightly icky road to Buzztown.

I think I prefer my beers dry. My old favorite was the 10 Barrel Brewing Company’s Cucumber Beer, but Fred Meyer hasn’t got it anymore. Sadness. I couldn’t have had it anyway, though, as it comes in 6-packs and I cannot drink six beers in one night. (No leftovers with teenagers in the house - it’s better to just not give them that kind of temptation, I feel.)

I drank to loosen up a little and see if I could bang my writer’s block on the head. I think I’m too tense at home (understandably, though?) and since I cannot drink anywhere else, but drinking relaxes me a little, it seemed like a good plan. Also, I had fillings on the fucking gum line again this morning, and my mouth is a little sore.

Not apologizing, though. I drink less than once a month. Once a season, maybe? I had a beer in January, a beer in April during the runup to finals, and now this beer. The best beer was the April beer. I tried the ginger-citrus IPA from I think Shock Top, and that was fantastic.

This beer was just so-so. I’d drink it again, but I wouldn’t shell out $7.49 for it again. For the worried, I am neither pregnant (IUD is in place, haven’t had sex since before Obama was in office) nor abusing anyone (although I did curse a bit playing drunken MarioKart with the girls. They found it hilarious.) Alcohol does not interact with any of my prescriptions (all of which I forgot today anyway.)

I will not be driving today or probably tomorrow. Wait, tomorrow I’m taking the ladies to the library, if they want to go and don’t have other plans. I remember something about a waterpark. Lu wanted a swimsuit. Jesus Christ, does that girl look grown-up in a swimsuit! She’s 12. So she’s going to wear a fucking cover-up with that suit, because she’s a natural redhead anyway, and her skin is porcelain, but also because people are assholes and my gorgeous kid doesn’t need anyone being perverted at her. Let her be 12.

Also, kid is a self-proclaimed lesbian, so you boys are out of luck. Not that the ladies are less pervy.

Also, swimsuits are fucking expensive! $30 a pop! Sometimes $30 a PIECE. Kitten got a tankini, because she’s a bit curvy through the middle and that gives her space while not being too big on the top or bottom. It doesn’t ride up when she lifts her arms.

I forgot what I was actually going to say. Thank you, beer.