RAD: Rodeo Clown in These Foolish Things

Here it is, folks! The date with the dick pic sender!

Name: Rodeo Clown

Introduction Platform: Bumble. We matched over a year ago. We have a history of texting until he sent me a dick pic and some other messages that made me realize he was not actually available to date (as in, was off and on with his previous girlfriend). I told him that he should go away and come back if and when he was actually single and available.

Age: 46

Relationship Status: See above. When we met on Friday he’d been single for…I don’t know, a couple of months? Never married, no kids. He travels a LOT for work.

Job: I can’t tell you because it would be VERY easy to Google (that’s how I figured out who he was in the first place). Let’s just say he travels all over the world on a lecture-type situation. His profession is extremely interesting to me and I wanted to talk about it more than we did on our date, but I also know that he probably has to talk about it allllll the time with people because it’s so unique!

Lives: In the next city over in a high rise building downtown (2 blocks from where we met).

Length of Date: 4-ish hours

We Did: Met on his turf (my request because I wanted a change of scenery!) at a really nice restaurant in his downtown. We had drinks (he had many, MANY drinks - I had a glass of champagne), ate salads for dinner and talked and laughed a lot.

He Looked: More handsome than his photos! I’ve peeped his facebook and a few of his videos and he’s absolutely my type, though he’s a little shorter than I really like (doesn’t really matter, his personality is HUGE). He’s super fit and totally into jiu jitsu, so he was wearing a fitted dress shirt that fit like a glove! He has a short beard that highlights a dimple (cute!) and gorgeous blue/gray eyes

I Looked: What I wore to work - a cute, summery cotton wrap around dress with a full, full skirt (that is short). Kind of hard to explain, but it’s subtle-y sexy. At work I wore a tiny bolero-like top as the dress is sleeveless, but I took it off for the date. I wore tall, TALL wedges which made me a couple of inches taller than him when we were both standing.

Convo: Interesting. He’d already had “a” drink before I got there. He took one look at me when I walked in a just kept repeating, “You’re beautiful! You’re beautiful! You’re BEAUTIFUL!!” Which, coming from a nice looking guy feels great, of course! And then we sat down and started really talking and I think that he felt zero filter since I already knew what he looked like nekkid. We talked about ALL kinds of things, but they all came back around to the fact that he has a few kinks which include situations in bed that involve more than just one other person. I’m going to let your imagination run with that because I don’t feel like getting into this can of worms, but let’s just say that the conversation was lively and I had fun with it. In other words, I did not take ANY of this date or the conversation seriously.

High Point: He was hilarious. He was clever. He was smart. I like him.

Low Point: Knowing that he is not boyfriend material. With his kink I just can’t. I’m very glad he was upfront, however. It saves me a lot of emotional energy.

How It Ended: He drank more and more Scotch. He was frisky, but I kept him at bay. By the end of dinner he’d had about 10 drinks and it was still early! He invited me to see his apartment and I declined. He invited me to go dancing and I declined. I just wanted to go home because it was gonna be late by the time I drove the hour home. He walked me to the valet stand but I didn’t have change to tip the valet, so he walked me to an ATM where he insisted on getting cash out on his card and refused to let me pay! He walked me back to the valet where my car was waiting and he hugged and hugged me. It was actually quite sweet.

Chances Are: Honestly, if he asks me out again I might consider it simply for the entertainment value. Like I said, he’s not gonna be my boyfriend, but I’m fascinated by him.

Date Rating: B

Aftermath: Told girlfriends at brunch about the dick pic dude and laughed about how a year ago Marce and I drew ears and eyes on it to make it look like a dog. At brunch he sent me a text about the night before and we all laughed and laughed and I ended up sending the marked up dick pic back to him, and according to his reaction he was downright shocked! Said he felt violated by his own dick pic!! Hah! We are still texting. He went to Vegas this week to give more talks. We shall see about him!