Bite Me in Life After 60

Some of the phrases used today amuse me. Of course some I would like to take literally. But the lawsuit might not be worth it. Being charged with Battery is not one of the things on my bucket list. But when someone tells me to bite them is that not an invitation? While one could argue that in a court of law the doctrine of reasonable person is going to help convict you.
Last night I was bitten by what I assume was a spider on my hand. I am not sure what provoked the attack on my person but I hope after it bit me it died. I do not recall infiltrating its territory. Truth be told I think the spider came into mine.
At work this morning a co-worker told me to put ice on the area to help with the pain and swelling. Not thinking about the condensation I sat with the ice bag on my leg and rested my hand on the ice bag. 30 minutes later I got up to go to the restroom and noticed I have a rather large water ring on the front of my pants. Can this day get any worse? Maybe I won’t get any repair calls for a while.