the idea is better than the person ever could be in Sometimes I feel dead inside

i saw a pic of a girl who was very close to me a long time ago. i remember thinking about how she wanted desperately to have me move it to the romantic realm. i never even considered her an option, she was a bit thicker than i prefer and a little bit too short for me. she had a pretty face and a great personality, but i never saw her as anything else. one of my other friends mentioned on my last night before i moved away that she had it bad for me and was surprised i didn't notice. i laughed it off. but she insisted on seeing me that night showing up at my place and everything. i remember there being a pause and in the back of my head thinking if she was a girl this would be the make out part haha. little did i know that is exactly what she wanted, it was funny finding out that later and putting together all the little things i didn't notice before. i don't regret it at all, she married a great dude and i'm happy they did, i was even at the wedding. i slowly let my mind drift back to that time in my life. i realized that it had little to no effect on my current life. the people from that time are gone, they don't really talk or visit me. i'm not upset, just thinking about how i could've used that time to do something else with my life. its funny i'm listening to music that i did in high school, its my best friends favorite band. he listened to the band almost everyday. i still think about him when i hear them, but i see him at least 3 times a year. my best friend that died a little over a year ago also liked this same band, which i found to be pretty strange. this isn't a band that had tons of radio play. it kind of hit me like a sign. or something like that. weird where my brain goes when reminiscing, so add and moving on to random topics. as i look at the clock i realize i'm going to go out soon. my phone needs to charge and i am starting to think about what tshirt i'm going to wear.