Since I started down the rabbit hole yesterday with my Great Depression post, I thought I would just continue today. Why change direction? After all, this is therapy.
I look back at my life and wonder how in the world did I ever survive? The last ten years have, in most cases been brutal. A divorce, the loss of a sister and my mother, a job loss, and bankruptcy, all in a very short period of time broke me. That’s how I describe myself. Broken.
There were times I wanted to just die and be done with it all. When a person loses hope it is difficult to continue. One wave after the other comes crashing down on you and you can’t breathe. When pushed to the edge, sometimes you just want to jump. Stop the world I want to get off.
My whole life is not as screwed up as I make it out to be. Hence the perception versus reality. But sometimes it is easier not to face reality. Reality bites. And I know people who have it worse than me. Maybe it’s just my imagination but I think my depression has gotten worse since the doctor increased my medication. Or perhaps it is just the summer slump.