please understand in Random

But please listen, please try to understand.
It scares me, it scares me to find the love of my life and not willingly want to give him children. It scares me that he will leave because of that. I hope and pray that the day this happenes the self love i have for myself is enough to not stop him, to not give him what he wants knowing i do not want the same thing.
But please understand, this isn’t a fase and this isn’t a somthing i need to work out in therapy.
please understand this is my body
please understand i am selfish
please understand it’s hard enough to love me that i don’t ever want to worry about loving someone else
please understand i don’t want to educate and raise a child
please understand this doesn’t mean i’m afraid of commitment
please understand that my body or life’s purpose isn’t to be a mother
please understand i won’t give you grandchildren mother
and please understand i’m okay with this.
I’m okay with being selfish, and maybe it isn’t being selfish maybe it’s self love after years of women sacrificing eveything for a life they didn’t want.
I’m okay with living with this fear, i’m also okay if you leave because i refuse to give you what you want but please leave the door open, don’t come back because i know it’ll break both of us.
I’m okay when you say i’ll die alone, that anxiety you provoke is worth living the life I CHOOSE for me.
so please understand and know your opinion isn’t neccesary over my body, my decisions, and my life.

Last updated July 05, 2019