New Job, Relationships, & Roommates in All Out of Balance

I’ve been in my new job for 6 weeks now and saying yes to this company is turning out to be an amazing decision. It feels good to be needed at work and to work alongside others who respect me, the work I produce, and genuinely enjoy the work they do.

Things have been going well with Cali, despite my own stupidity. I really care about him and told him I love him the night before my graduation. Oh and the next morning he was meeting my family since I invited him to the graduation too. I had a mini freak out when I told him because I wasn’t expecting to nor did I want to be in love with someone. The way that affects me scares me because in my experiences I’m taken advantage of when I really love someone. So it is something I’ve told him, and I choose to simply live in the moment and enjoy my time while I can.

Now Chicago on the other hand has been a source of anguish and anger for me the last few weeks. Things with us was going well at first, and he even said he loved me. Things took a negative turn when he started a new job and he was experiencing emotional issues with his partners. In some ways I know I’m partially to blame because he wants me to become one of his partners and I think that has impacted his relationships. But at this point that’s not what I see for us. I do care about him, just not in the ways he does for me. Over the last few weeks we’ve been arguing and I really have felt disconnected. He’s coming to visit me this weekend, so I’ll see where my head is once we’re face to face.

My roommates have been on my nerves. Actually, only one in particular because she is moving out and it is causing a huge amount of unrest. There’s been a lot of negative feelings that were not expressed until it was a huge problem, and now it’s everyone else’s issue to deal with. There are repairs that are needed for our home that have been put on hold simply because she was upset at how it would inconvenience her.