Advice from parents, please! in Happy trails from DE
- June 25, 2019, 3:18 p.m.
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So baby bear (18 months) has started slapping himself on the side of the face for attention and I dont know how to get him to stop!
The slapping isn’t hard, and it doesnt leave a mark. He is not doing it during a tantrum or out of frustration… when he wants your attention he will slap himself a few times and then laugh once you notice. We will frequently tell him please don’t hit the baby and move his hand and tell him we do nice and gently caress him or kiss him but that clearly isn’t working.
As per our own parenting preference we don’t hit our kids, and certainly not in the face, so he isn’t mimicking what he sees.
My older sister and one of his teachers suggested we ignore this completely and give him no reaction at all. Honestly, I haven’t tried that approach yet… I get so unsettled when he does this I immediately pull his hand away and tell him not to do it.
He’s also not attention deprived at all, if anything he’s the king of the castle and no one can keep themselves away from him. And yet he gives himself a wack every so often and immediately finds someone who will tell him not to.
Today his teacher told me he was doing it all day long… if I’m going to try to ignore the behavior I want them on board as well because they are doing the same thing we are, telling him not to hit and removing his hand.
Any suggestions? Tips?
The Thirsty Oriental ⋅ June 25, 2019
Yeah, I'd ignore it. Good luck!
DE_fallenandhopeless The Thirsty Oriental ⋅ June 25, 2019
Thanks! I think ignoring it might be the best choice at the moment
DE_imisseditagain ⋅ June 25, 2019 (edited June 25, 2019)
Edited
Ignore. My oldest son used to hit his head on the floor to get our attention. Scared the crap out of me but the pediatrician said to not give him attention when he did it. I did what she said and he stopped hitting his head on the floor around me within a few days. My husband kept giving him the attention so he kept hitting his head on the floor around my husband for weeks. He couldn't understand why my son only did it around him 🙄 Everyone needs to be on the same page so the kid doesn't get mixed messages. My son still plays my hubby like a fiddle. Kid's a con artist 😂
Shattered ⋅ June 25, 2019
Ignore it. He won’t hit himself hard enough to hurt. Everyone needs to be on the same page, though.
DE_juleaha ⋅ June 25, 2019
Cohen use to bang his head against the wall/floor for attention but thankfully has outgrown it. Our pediatrician basically said to ignore it as long as he wasn't banging it against the window where it could break and cut him.
He'll outgrow it.
DE_KentuckyGirl ⋅ June 25, 2019
I am in the ignore it camp. He's not seriously hurting himself. Do not make eye contact, talk to others in the room as if everything is normal. Once he stops, immedialy turn attention to him. "Wheres your toy? Let's get juice!" Or whatever. If he starts again, immediately disengage and dont look at him or react to him. ONLY give attention when he isnt doing it.
Deleted user ⋅ June 25, 2019
I agree with the ignore. It'll take time and be frustrating but you're handling it right! It'll pass hopefully sooner than later
Nash ⋅ June 25, 2019
I've been hitting myself in the head for about 20 years. Now I know why nobody pays any attention to me anymore. You guys are just way too smart for me.
DE_jusjusndredre ⋅ June 28, 2019
I too agree with ignoring, even if it's negative attention he will continue it just because he gets attention.
I totally understand what you mean when you say he isn't deprived of attention because I'm going through something very similar with my 6 year old. He gets plenty of attention, but acts out to get a rise out of us and will also hit himself. But he does it if he does something dumb, no idea where or why he started it.
We first addressed it and it only got worse. We have found ignoring it is best because then he knows he won't get the attention he's seeking. Unless it's positive behavior.