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June 19, 2019, 6:43 p.m.
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Guys, I’m currently on a plane headed to the supplier summit of the iconic company that I’m creating product for. I will admit that I am nervous about the fact that I currently have an unruptured and unrepaired pseudoaneurysm in my head, however I am also willing to admit that I took a valium as well as a glass of wine and I’m feeling pretty damn okay. I’m also hydrating and will probably need to pee in a huge way before this bird lands. I do not feel like getting up and walking through the aisle, but we’ll see.
I would like to also report that I asked at the gate check-in desk of my American Airlines flight if I could gate check my bag and speak to the flight attendants before takeoff to tell them of my situation and they were BEYOND accommodating. In fact, they let me board during special boarding before first class even so I could have extra time to talk with the flight attendants. I told them what was going on with me and said that I had all of my medical paperwork in my bag and gave them an emergency contact whom they could contact. They also asked where my injury is and how I might possibly be affected. I told them to please watch for signs of stroke which, in my case, would include blindness in my left eye, difficult or strange speech and possibly right side paralysis. They were so kind that they made me tear up. I love them.
However, I HATE the douchebag who was sitting in front of me on my flight. He did the absolute NONO in coach. That is, reclining his seat as far as it would go, causing my laptop that I’m writing this entry on to close on my fingers and his seat to cram right into my knees. I asked him if he wouldn’t mind scooting back up just a little bit and got the most horrid stink eye from this dickhole. THEN! His fucking lady friend turned around and said, “These are reclining seats and we PAID for them!” Douche dude sat up for just a minute, but then right back to the reclining thing. So I got up to pee (hydrating, you know) and on the way to the toilet, I noticed that there were a gagillion empty seats, so I asked a sweet man if I could sit in the aisle seat next to him (he is in window and there’s a seat in between). Bless this man. Fuck Reclining Man and his horrid, horrid girlfriend.
·Oh! And I also forgot to tell you that I arrived at the airport early so I could take advantage fo the VIP airline lounge that I pay big bucks for annually just to calm myself down and eat some breakfast and get some work done before the flight. While I was having some decaf and oatmeal loaded with fresh fruit, I called American Airlines service folks to tell them of my medical situation. I got a kind of snippy customer service woman who sounded kind of put out. The only way I could explain my situation was to tell her that I have been diagnosed a brain aneurysm (harder to explain a “pseudoaneurysm at the site of a carotid artery dissection”, so brain aneurysm is a simplified explanation, but it is valid and understandable). WELL. Wouldn’t you know that the customer service woman I was speaking to softened waaaay up and told me that she was a survivor of a burst brain aneurysm!! She told me her whole story and spoke with such a knowing and amazing tone. How crazy is that???? Anyway, all of this to say, the airline is taking amazing care of me (minus Mr. Dick and Ms. Cunt in the front of the plane)
OK. It seems like we are on our initial descent. I’m going to try to post this before we land. So far so good, y’all. These are firsts I am taking and I’m thrilled to know that I can potentially fly without bursting an artery!!!
With relief,
GS
Last updated June 19, 2019
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