Marriage Dilemma in My Life

We have a counseling session tomorrow. It'll have been 3 weeks. We were told to think about the 2 books we'd read and come up with three things from those books we could use to help change things. I haven't done this yet. I suspect she meant for these to be implemented by the appointment but I'm not sure I even care. I feel like we just get assignments....that counseling has helped but I want someone to tell me how to fix stuff so that we're acutally happy. We're better than before, sure. We don't walk on eggshells, I don't like in a full state of anger when he's around. But I'm still unhappy. I don't think he understands and I'm just not sure he will. We talked about last session how he is self concerned. I told our therapist how I had hurt my knee and was told not to do stairs for a while if I could avoid them. Laundry is in the basement. I put my clothes basket near the stairs, asked him to take it down for me. He did - and left the clothes by the machine. Didn't throw them in. Didn't ask me if he should. He's acting like a 2 yr old in counseling waving his hand saying "Oh! Can I say something? I thought I wasn't allowed to touch your laundry; I did think about putting it in but I thought I'd get in trouble or something." My repsonse, "So you couldn't yell upstairs "Hey want me to throw this in?" and instead watched me hobble downstairs in pain to do so?" He had no response to that - because he's wrong. His bday gift (Dec 1st people), a smoker, sits in the box unopened downstairs. I brought this up; therapist actually validated me here. It's still in the box. It snowed last week - it always snows. 2 inches of heavy, plowable snow. He didn't shovel. I had to shovel, with the bad knee. "I thought we'd let it melt since it'd be warmer today." I swear, he's an absolute idiot sometimes. What if there was an emergency? We already have a very hilly awful driveway. He doesn't every think beyond himself and in that case, he would've been late to work had he shoveled and that was all that mattered. Another thing we talked about was how I don't talk a lot - about my day, etc. After years of doing the same job, I moved on almost 2 years ago and he doesn't understand my job which is fine. I have always been someone who as soon as work is over, it's over. I don't want to discuss it, i leave it behind. Greg I had to put a time limit on how long he could talk about work when we did the same thing because it was exhausting. So he'll still come home and tell me each person he spoke to that day, etc and I don't say boo about my day. So I decided to try maybe talking about other things of interest, like my friends or whatever. My best friend lost her nephew a month ago and when I brought up how her sister-in-law had pulled his little body from the casket (21 mths old, awful awful awful), he just said "oh that's sad." He's never once asked how she is. Last week I told him my other best friend was at the NIH w/her son who has a rare disorder; I got "oh" - no "How come they're there? What're they doing?" It's like he has no empathy, no ability or care to even follow up on what I'm trying to talk about. So I stop trying. It just shouldn't be this hard.
I'm exhausting of trying to figure out every day if this is enough for me, because bottom line is I don't think it is. But I don't know if I can stay in my house if we split up. His parents live over an hour away so he can't go there. He has NO friends (another reason for our issues). I have a business trip coming up and I've never been away from the kids and him before. I can't wait and I'm sort of hoping it'll give me the space I need. Although I don't think 4 nights is going to give me what I need, but it's a start.
I told him before that if he doesn't start taking his health seriously that's a deal breaker. He's had high blood pressure since his heart procedure last year.....and he let the prescription run out and it's been 5 days or so since he's taken it. WHAT?! And he keeps complaining his arm is tingling on and off. He has circulation issues. Call the doctor. I don't want to be married to someone I have to parent. I have two kids to do that to and I just feel like my role here is to cook for him, raise the kids, and that's about it. I get nothing out of this marriage whatsoever. I guess that's my answer.