I am so bored i been trying to find free activities to amuse me. Today after i played with my cats with the lazer light i sat in my bedroom open the window and played with the stray cats with the same lazer. The strays are a pregnant Garfield and her last year kittens Larry, Curly and Moe. Some of the strays ran away scared others pounced and played. Curly meowed at me staring at me smart enough to know where the lazer came from. I was amused for a bit but got bored again.
For days between job applications and stages of crying because i am depressed i found things to occupy my time. I have been going Puzzles on In Bloom after i got past level 104 i started struggling. I been playing Design Home. A game helps you decorate rooms with furniture and painting. I have been watching free movies and tv shows on tubitv and plutotv.
I was debating on exercising using my zombie run app but sadly i messed up the app where zombies dont case me anymore. i am not motivated to exercise without running for my life! i might need to ask them what i did wrong.
Mom wanted me to come over and visit her i instead got medicine for my migraine headache went home. This is my moms 3rd week of her psychological breakdown from dad’s death. i dont know when she plans to return to work. She tried to convince me to live with her during day live with husband during the night. I told her i cant be pulled 2 different directions she asked why not divorced parents make it work. why not my mother and my husband Talan? oh lord. I made excuse and come home to sleep.
Today i was reading The Cyber Attack Survival Manual by Nick Selby and Heather Vescent my cats unsatisfied they were not getting attention got in a cat fight with pregnant cat Harley. Coal and Ziggy cornered her i seperated Coal telling him i hope his future children kick his ass! I only red a few chapters and stopped. Cats know how to distract.
Today Tella wanted me to move some furniture for her for her friends for free. I dont have enough money to afford gas. i turned down her offer. My truck isnt a uhaul i am not a taxi. They can use someone else. My 10 hours of pay a week i cant afford to enertain them. I been avoiding social activities because i cant afford them!
After i got Talan to work at 6 am i plan put out job applications. My mother got upset when i told her i need to own property and not wait for my brother to try to take it away. Mom wants to divide me and my husband. me live with her him at his/mine house 2 seperate lives. She suggests me divorce him live with her so she wont be alone. she hinted today she might die a year after dad does without someone living with her. I told her i love her but quit manipulating dads death as a guilt trip to get her way.
Tom my brother says if mom passes away he wants to sell everything to get what he wants. Tom doesnt think about in the will i the daughter inherits the estate. he forgot just because he mooching off my mom like a parasite he thinks he gets last say so. Mom said she giving me everything because i want to raise a family there. i honestly rather keep her alive not talk about death and inheritance. My mom means more than any material goods.
I told her i am going get 2 jobs work my ass off for a downpayment on a house to be sure Tom can never leave me homeless. Tom that low. He forced himself to move into dad’s apartment promising mom he would take care of her. Dad wasnt even cold yet when Tom moved in after dad said never allow Tom to move back in. he using mom i hear mom whine about it. Dad warned her not to let this happen. Mom wont listen. Tom takes her car, money, steals her goods she lets him. Mom begged me live in her house she makes enough to care for us got upset when i reminded her Tom’s theft. Family are the ones who will screw you the fastest!
I need to get up at 6 am to get Talan ready for work.I dont work till Saturday so after my nap i plan more job applications. I need to start saving for a house. i love my mom but i need something that cant be took away once she passes on! I need stability. I need to depend on myself.
Last updated May 21, 2019