He says my over exaggerations destroy our family in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

  • May 14, 2019, 6:03 a.m.
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My husband informed me i overcompensate my stories i blow things out of proportion. He said he didnt call me i liar but i overexaggerate. He told me my friends are shit get new friends.His friends. My family is shit quit talking to them.

During a series of argument he thought it amusing to put a sewing pin in my leg while he was driving. He said i flipped out overcompensating because i was scared it was a bee. I didn’t have medicine i needed to treat the bee sting. I asked him to take me to get medicine upset to discover it was one of his pranks. I told his mom what he did when she discussed it with him when i got home from work he said i overexaggerate my stories to make him look bad.

I told him since being around/ talking to his friends and family make him look bad i informed him i plan to stay home by myself taking sleeping pills to sleep most of the time to avoid confrontation. If i am unconscious i cant exaggerate to make him look bad. I will block his mother on my phone never talking to her or his brother again. I cant exaggerate and blow things put of proportion if i dont talk to them. I will avoid his friends my friends. I will stay locked in the house alone with the cats because i cant cause conflict if i am not around anyone.

I told my mom Talan blocked me from going to the bathroom one day while we were arguing. My mother took Dee Talan’s moms number off my old phone to call Dee to say her son was beating me when he was not. My mother asked what is wrong with Talan to be so abusive so i spent this entire afternoon avoiding my mother’s phone calls to hear my husband say i am a drama queen that i cause all of our problems. I am going get her phone delete Dee so my mom cant cause problems by calling his mother.

Most of the time Talan sleeps on the couch he dared me to get divorce papers saying if i do he will leave never to return that i must change to make our relationship better by me changing. He fell asleep in the bedroom while he was asleep the cats cried for food. I got food for my cats and went to the couch to sleep. He wanted to know why i slept on the couch. I couldn’t tell him i couldnt face what a let down and overexaggerater i am. I wanted get in my car sell everything take my cats move far away to a farm never to talk to anyone again. I cant get in trouble if no one hears me talk.

Since our argument this morning involved me telling him i will not let him pick my friends i will block his family and be alone. He says it’s a horrible idea. I think it’s great idea. I prefer cats anyway. He doesnt argue about the cats. I plan to live as a hermit till the end of my days. He says it isnt healthy. I say having your words twisted by him, his mother and my mother being fussed at for hours isnt healthy either. He says i exaggerate but he doesnt considering i am living this hell due to perceptions of others. No communication no problems.

Talan after we argued and he poked me with a pin being what he thought was funny. He told me my dad is dead get the fuck over it. My mom is on medical leave due to depression and acts out when she doesn’t see me starting arguments. I see her often to have later discussions my husband complains i come home crying from mom’s. Mom and i discuss dad’s death his memories it makes me cry. Depression does that. He says mom’s toxic for bringing up dad. He was part of my life 31 years how can you not discuss someone who was such a large part of my life. I miss my dad.

Talan stayed 2 days at his friends Scotts. He kept promising to come home. He got upset when i said obviously he left me i will sign divorce papers and pack his bags. He said i am being dramatic. He said he was talking to them about how to be a better husband decided his problems are my fault that we cant resolve our issues by both of us compromising.

He said we either need to ignore the issue hope it goes away a marriage counselor or i need to get rids of all my friends because they are shit people i need to hang out with his. I have little to no interests with his friends. During a discussion he threaten to shatter my phone for me looking a text message.

My friend Kuhn got a new job left the Dollar General we were both abused by the manager at that job. I told her i was proud her finding a better job where she was better treated that i was putting in applications to try to find the same thing. Talan was insulted because he said i was ignoring him. He says he hates my phone i always stay on it. I stay on my phone because it is the only thing in my life besides my cats that give me comfort right now.

After a nap job applications because i didnt slept well last night. I need a better job if he plans to leave me i need enough hours to survive. I wont beg him to stay. He says my overexaggerations ruin our relationship my opinion his bitching does. I cant change him but i will change myself. One way or another i will find peace in my own house even if it means never talking or going outside my house again. Eat sleep job and die of loneliness is the plan. I wont ask for his attention ever again.

I cant fix this anymore. I cant make anyone happy so i am done. I will either sleep my life away. Do job applications or stay away from people. I like cats better anyway. Future cat lady here i come.

MyDronedLife May 14, 2019 (edited May 14, 2019)


My God would you leave him already? I am a domestic abuse survivor. My daughter's father used to beat me, choke me, belittle me, tell me I was nothing, forced me to isolate myself from my friends and family, and put a loaded gun to my head asking if I trusted him. I almost died in that relationship. Trust me when I say that talan is mentally and physically abusing you. His fists to your face and telling you that you deserved it will be next. I swear to you that. You need to divorce him ASAP and now. Stop waiting. Please stop waiting.

I will tell you my entire story if that'll help convince you to get a divorce and get away from him. They always do this type of mental breakdown to get you under their control. I know from experience. Please leave him. I will give you my personal Facebook and even my number if you need it.

Kristi1971 May 14, 2019

When he says these things to make you question your own story, makes you question what you really remember or really think, it's called gaslighting. It actually does have a name. It's something that abusers are really good at.

No, you can't make anyone happy. That's not your job or your responsibility. You are not put on the earth to make anyone happy. Happiness comes from within. You have it within you to be happy right now. It's really hard to see this when you are in the fog you are in.

Deleted user Kristi1971 ⋅ May 14, 2019

gaslighting I never knew there was a term for it but I always see how people do that and manipulate others and I could never explain it but now I have a word for it thank you

Beret May 14, 2019

What kind of person sticks a needle into someone for a joke? Why in hell did you marry this guy? He adds absolutely nothing to your life. In fact, he only causes you more heartache and problems.

Beret May 14, 2019

Let me just add, none of this is normal or acceptable. This is not how mentally and emotionally stable people behave.

Deleted user May 14, 2019

So he's gone from threatening you to sticking pins in you and covering your mouth when you speak are you just waiting for the day he just punches you in the face to leave or are you going to stay after he does that because it's going to come to that sooner or later

Lunchbox May 14, 2019

He is abusive. He might not be beating the shit out of you now, but it will happen. Your man is supposed to protect you, not stick pins in you and laugh at you because you are scared. He's gaslighting you. I don't know you, but I read your story here, and it's heartbreaking. I really want the best for you. I hope you can find the strength within yourself to leave your abuser.

DreamsofJ May 14, 2019

Time to pack up and leave

mysterymelody DreamsofJ ⋅ May 17, 2019

my house i wont go anywhere if anyone goes its him

Anaiss May 14, 2019

What all your other noters said. There is nothing healthy, happy, hopeful, supportive, normal, joyful, or loving in your marriage. Your relationship is extremely dysfunctional. I don't understand how you view Talan as a good partner. You seem to be so kind, generous, loving, ambitious, determined. How much happier I think your life could be if you had a partner who shared your values and wanted to support you, see you succeed, and who sees the best in you. It IS possible.

Pockets May 14, 2019

just because you married him doesnt mean you have to stay with him. and sure, there's a fairytale land where marriages last forever and everyone is happy and sunshine shoots out of unicorns asses too. but. what you have is not ok. and you know it. and that's the thing that drives me crazy.

you know he's abusive.
you know what he's doing is not ok.
and you're not doing anything about it.
and i realise its hard. GOD do i know that. cuz oh hey, domestic abuse survivor here.
it's not going to get better. it never does. not when someone is as emotionally, mentally and now physically abusive as your husband.
it's going to get worse. and you have to decide what your priority is.
is it yourself and survival? or is trying to make a lazy abusive bastard happy?

also. letting your friends railroad you and your mom berate you is 100% dysfunctional so maybe some counselling would do you good. cuz if you keep doing nothing and just...languish in the land of abuse...you're going to wind up dead.

FitLadyDi May 14, 2019

https://www.fmrs.org/ looks like its income based. I'm not sure if you live in one of those counties, but even if you dont, they can point you in the right direction.

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