i get bored in Sometimes I feel dead inside

i was having a beer at the bar i frequent and it occurred to me that i was bored out of my mind. maybe the last few years have spoiled me. i'm used to having women dote upon me while i am at this bar. its part of the reason i go there. also because it used to be that i always had an adventure or a story by the end of the night. but lately its gotten boring. maybe i'm just boring. i don't know. i think back a year ago and i'd show up there much more often than i do now. i know that a woman was involved with that, hell most of the time i've gone out its because of this woman or that woman. its strange but i've often had close women friends who have hung out with me there as well. some i was into, some have been into me, some we never bothered to figure that out. i've always enjoyed that. hearing the silly and trivial things some of these women worry about would crack me up. sure i get insecure about things from time to time, but it was something new every day with most of these young ladies. i also enjoyed that i became the model that all their various me were compared against. in some of the instances not so much, but in general i like being this near perfect man, a representation of every deficiency that the boy they were into/seeing/thinking about seeing. its not that hard. i'm not afraid to give an honest opinion to women, even if its telling them they look like they are putting on weight. i know what i want from most women, and will tell them they should try to be a little more feminine. things that can come off offensive have and often times will come out of my mouth. i'll say what everyone else is thinking or are too nice to say so. but when i am between these women who i let see into my life i get bored. i use them like they are girlfriends, though they are not, but i will get meals, go to movies, go to shows, generally hang out with them. but never sleep with them, that's how they never cross that line of being a girlfriend. i hate the in between them time, due to the things i'd like to do but don't get to or have to take the flavor of the week with me to. i hate doing that but i guess its better than nothing. better than sitting at home upset because i thought the last one was the "one". better than pining over some girl from my teenage years. no i don't really want to sit around and play what if.