Ponderings on Marriage & Dating in New Beginnings

I got a new coworker last Monday. Her name is Galina, and she's gorgeous. What's peculiar is that it's not just her physical beauty that's so enchanting; rather it's supplemented with a strangely charming personality. It's an unassuming charm where you overlook it but are still affected by it. It's little things like how she gives you a closed mouth smile when you pass her in the hall, or how she'll exclaim to herself the random little things that maker her happy. Friday, I heard her say, "I love this stapler." Apparently, her stapler is much easier to operate than the one she had at her previous job, and she couldn't contain herself. I can't decide if she's cute, or if I'm just easily amused. Of course, she's married (with two kids), so she's off the market. Not that she would be a possibility if she weren't married. As they say, you don't get your honey and your money from the same pot. Besides, it's not like I'd have the balls to do anything in an alternate reality where she were single and we weren't coworkers, but I'm digressing.

Actually, what I wanted to discuss was rings. I noticed I was doing the following shortly after I finished college, but I don't think I fully appreciated the impact of it until now. Whenever I meet or even see an attractive woman, I try to sneak a peak at her left hand. Obviously, I'm looking for either a wedding band or an engagement ring. It really makes things so much easier. Once I see the ring, I know where her availability stands, and I don't have to rack my brain wondering "what if." That's so much easier to me than when I was in high school in college. If I caught a girl smiling at me or be friendly or flirtatious, I'd wonder if she was into me, was she being polite, or did she just has that irritating problem of "I don't like you, but I want you to like me because it makes me feel good about myself to have control over someone else since I have so little control over anything else." That's done with, and I'm glad.

I was also watching some buzzfeed videos on YouTube, one specifically on statistics about relationships. Apparently, on average marriages last 15.6 years. That means, if I had gotten married at the average age of marrying, 27 (I think), odds are, I wouldn't be able to find my real life partner until I was at least 43.6. That makes me feel better about my situation. If I don't find a spouse until I'm in my 40s, then I'm not really different than all the people who get married a second time around that age. The only difference is that I was able to save and invest during the "first marriage" years, and I'll be that much farther up the financial curve. I'm making progress on my plan to retire by the time I'm 40. I suppose if I find a woman who's of a similar mindset, we can have a honeymoon that extends the length of our entire marriage. We can spend our days sleeping in, going out on dates, doing volunteer work, staying in shape, reading and discussing interesting books, taking hammock naps together, and making out like a couple teenagers sans having our fun broken up by one of our parents walking in on us.

Actually, regarding that last point, I think those statistics also said most couples stop being intimate around six years. Maybe it's just because I've had to do without the physical benefits of having a wife or serious girlfriend for so, so long, but why would anyone stop. I'm not just referring to sex either. Coincidentally, a local radio show was discussing characteristics of happy marriages, and it somehow came up that many people don't kiss their spouses every day. Seriously? I think of all the times I've wanted a woman to kiss. Why would anyone not savor every moment they have to be close to his or her spouse, to nuzzle on the sofa, to trade massages while talking about their days, to do all the things you wanted to do when you were younger but couldn't? It just doesn't make sense, but seeing as how I have no experience on the subject matter, maybe I'm just laughably naïve. I wonder if I ever get married, would being able to be affectionate with someone be as grand as I imagine. Considering how often fantasies don't live up to reality, such would probably hold true in this instance as well. I really hope this instance would be one of those times when reality does live up to fantasy, even if I never get to experience myself. It would just be nice to know that sometimes, the real thing is just as good as what you anticipated.