Random.... in Secrets from myself
- Feb. 22, 2014, 7:46 p.m.
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- Public
I just transcribed three of my old newspaper columns - chosen by random dates by someone who is not me.
As I was going through one of spiral notebooks that contain my old columns, I came across a loose sheet of paper. It's a light weight piece of typing paper folded in half. It has my handwriting on all four of it pages. Across the top it says Summer of 1972. That is a long time ago.
I think I found the sheet of paper in an encyclopedia volume years and years ago. I stuck it in a random spiral notebook and tonight I found it again.
It's raw. And unhappy. I was 26 and I had two kids - ages two and five. I was incredibly unhappy. I use the word 'hate' a lot.
My life got better. It changed and I got more of what I wanted. But I still know the person who wrote this. I'm still her. Still here.
Duke ⋅ February 22, 2014
Somewhere I have a black spiral notebook full of story ideas. I read somewhere that authors always carried notebooks to write down thoughts.
In my teens I used to write prose on index cards. Part of me wants to know what I wrote. The other part of me is glad those cards are probably in a landfill somewhere.
Brakeshoe Bob ⋅ February 23, 2014
notes are funny..but I helped clean out a home, from passed relative about 6 years ago. This woman was a teacher, never married. Taught music and languages, for 42 years with the Denver Public Schools. She fluently spoke and wrote French, Italian, Latin, and English (duh). She saved every planning book, every test, every...everything.. She had an Italian sausage recipe, for a breakfast brunch, service with mushrooms. I have modified it a bit, using fresh mushrooms instead of canned. But on the back of the hand written recipe. A Latin test. Eh tu Brute, okay thats all I know grade "F"... have a great day
NorthernSeeker ⋅ February 23, 2014
I wasn't very happy in 1972. I was in Grade 10 and I didn't like anything about myself. There was the sense I was going to graduate in 2 years, though. I didn't feel trapped by a marriage and two kids.
NorthernSeeker ⋅ February 23, 2014
I used the word "trapped", you didn't. That was about me.
woman in the moon NorthernSeeker ⋅ February 23, 2014
trapped is a good word. i was so unhappy with my husband. i've forgotten how rough it was. no money, no friends, nothing. he would be gone all the time and never tell me where he was or what he was doing.
things got better. they got better when we moved home though that wasn't my idea either. i've felt a lot of my life was not in my control.
i had handwriting then. i print everything now or scribble illegibly. my handwriting was curved and round - not big and round or overly controlled - but it could be read.
Brakeshoe Bob woman in the moon ⋅ February 23, 2014
I hated cursive writing, and I could do it. I have printed most of my 61 years. My signature is that, illegible. I had to write out a bid, for engineer jobs 5,000,000 years ago. I submitted the bid with my signature, then in parentheses, I printed my name. I was told, we were glad you printed your name, we could read the signature ....
woman in the moon ⋅ February 23, 2014
i gave that paper to jim to read some years ago = it keeps appearing. he said there was nothing in it about giving up. he has also said that what he learned from his parents = and john too i suppose - that the only sin is giving up.
Tick Tock Tick ⋅ February 26, 2014
There are so many men like that (having read back through the notes) who go off and leave their wives, doing whatever it is they'd rather be doing, thinking what? Did he ever explain? Was his Father like that?