In my adulthood i dont drink with friends, i dont spent the night. When i want to go home i do not accept no for an answer. When i set these limits my husband often cusses me out when i tell him no. Today he informed me i will get drunk at his friend Scotts house. I will spent the night at Scott’s. I dont trust men as far as i can throw them. In college and my former friends people assumed if i was drunk they can talk me in bed. There isnt enough alcohol in this world to make me agree.
I am not saying Scott and his family ever tried to get sexual by any means. They never spoke inappropriately or made me feel uncomfortable by any means but due to previous circumstances that had nothing to do with Scott or his family i refuse to ever place myself in a position where i feel trapped. My husband Talan doesnt understand my personal boundaries. When intoxicated he doesnt understand when i say i want to go home dont argue.
He says i hate his friends. That isnt true. I like them enough to set my personal boundaries. When Talan demanded me to go with him i told him take me home. While furious arguing he almost wrecked into 2 cars. One swerved in his lane he tried to go after the person because Talan has road rage. I told him quit acting like a damn child no one has money to fix his and the other persons truck for instigating the wreck quit being a dumbass. He heard reason and backed down.
He criticize me because i have 6 close friends and i avoid everyone else. He got upset because my friends dont invite him over. Talan demanded me to find some “real friends” in his friends. They havent earned my trust. My best friends are there for me no matter what. I stay with them because everyone else i am uncomfortable with.
I rather have a select group of friends most of the time i enjoy my close friends or roaming by myself. I am close to my mother. If people make me feel uncomfortable i leave and go alone to find my own enertainment. Tella is my best friend but even she doesnt understand pushing people on me to force a relationship isnt healthy for me. I walked out of a birthday party because a friend of hers got on my nerves. I rather walk away than fight.
Talan drove me home saying i was a parrot because i repeated i didnt want to go out with his friend. He said my brain is smaller than a walnut because i told him i am going home to read a book not to entertain his friends.
I prefer being alone people are emotionally draining. Since Talan left i am listening to the rain on the tin roof with cats laying on me asleep. I am happy here.. Dont pop my bubble!
I might go shopping later. Talan bought him new boots and glasses. I asked to try on dresses but that inconvienced his plans with Scott. He told me he will take me to flea market in morning. Probably another promise broken tomorrow. Today i plan to shop and a nap i deserve a break.