watching you watch me in 2019

10:22am

I am currently battling with a cold that is trying to sneak up on me and I feel like we’re locked in a tie at the moment. Neither one of us willing to back down.

It started about a week ago and at the first sign of symptoms I went straight to my box of home remedies [that have proven to work in the past]. I honestly think it’s what has kept this thing from going full blown cold. Pretty much the only symptom I’ve had so far is losing my voice and now this freaken annoying cough! I don’t hate much in life but I definitely do despise having a cough! It drives me absolutely insane! Especially times like last night where I went to bed at like 10pm and then spent the next hour+ coughing and not being able to sleep. Kinda defeats the purpose of going to bed so dang early! I should have just stayed on the couch and napped there for a while.

I ended up going to the store yesterday to stock up on groceries and all the vitamins ever. Except of course I couldn’t find the orange juice I needed. I am, however, now living on tiny vitamin C drops every half hour or so. How much does it take to overdose on vitamin C?

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this doesn’t turn into one of those long term lingering coughs. That will drive me crazy! I’ve only got about a month and a half left of serious work and this thing is not helping me get through the day any easier.

As excited as I am for summer time, I’m honestly trying not to think about it too much. There are so many people left to come in, and so much work left to be done, that if I think about it I start to get overwhelmed. Just gotta take it one day at a time. It’ll all be over soon enough. =)

I’m not normally one to be so excited for summer but this year I really am. It’s been something to look forward to the last couple of years but this year I really need it. I’m craving a day, or lots of days, out in the sunshine with a beer in my hand! I think part of it is also the new neighbours and having some fun people to do stuff with. I mean I’ve always enjoyed my days but it’s been a long time since I’ve had a younger crowd to hang with. How long have I been saying I miss the days back in college where we’d go sit on a patio somewhere and drink pitchers of beer and eat junk food. Those were the best days! And I might actually get to experience that again this year. That’s definitely exciting!

They’ve already semi-invited me to a water park that I didn’t even know existed in a town I go to almost every week during the off season. That might be fun. Although I’m not all that comfortable with wearing my swimsuit in front of people I know. I’m way too conservative for these modern ways. haha. Not that I’d mind lying around in shorts and a tank top and catching all the rays while the littles play.

Speaking of the neighbours [haha]: I was at work on Saturday and I ended up taking a walk-in client. While I was at the desk with him I felt my watch buzz several times in a row with text notifications. I thought it would be CK since he tends to send one long message that splits into multiple ones. Then after the client left I was running a transaction for someone else and I got a phone call. I figured it was spam since everyone else knows I’m at work all week. I finally got a chance to check later and the texts were from L telling me the boys were having a BBQ cookoff and that I should go after work. The phone call was from compa but he didn’t leave a message. I texted him back to say I was working and ask what’s up. He told me about the BBQ cookoff too and said I should stop by.

I like that this dude invites me over to a house that isn’t his. haha. I hadn’t talked to him at all since the beginning of the week so I was surprised he called. I also like these random phone calls from him. There’s something about talking to someone on the phone. IDK. He freaken sucks at texting but he’s interested enough to go out of his way to invite me over whenever he’s next door. hah.

So we ended up deciding to leave work right at 5pm and head home to change before going over. We didn’t have time for lunch that day so we were both starving and it was perfect. After we changed we walked next door and the guys were sitting on the front step talking. Since mom was with me H stood up to give her a hug and then compa stood up too. I don’t usually hug them when I go over anymore, just the kids, so it was slightly awkward for me. I love hugs but I don’t know. I did reach out and give him like a half hug since he was still kinda hugging my mom and I did the same with H as we were walking inside.

This next part is mostly just for my own funny reminiscing in the future but I want to record it anyway. See it all started when I was first walking into the house. I had just finished hugging H when I went up the steps and into the front door. As I went to close the door behind me I also caught sight of this dude standing at the bottom of the steps facing the door and he was definitely checking me out. There was no other reason for him to be standing there other than he totally watched me walk inside.
And I’m not even going to lie, this guy had hungry eyes on Saturday. I don’t even know how else to describe it! Like if circumstances were a little different I think he would have devoured me completely right then and there. It was kinda intense. haha. And I avoided eye contact as best I could because of that.

I mean I wish I were a little more attracted to him because I was totally freaken flattered by the way he was watching me. Although, at the same time, I did that whole exchange of mutual attraction before and it only ended in tears for me, so probably not something I want to do again right now. It doesn’t seem to work out the way I think it should.

I felt kinda bad for the dude though. First he came inside and stood at the end of the counter while we grabbed food to eat. They wanted to know which one we thought was better so I got tri-tip that they each made even though I’m not a big meat eater. I went around him to sit on the bar stools they have at the counter and started eating. And I’m not even lying, this guy stood there directly across from me and literally watched me eat almost the entire time!! I swear he really does have a thing about watching me eat and I don’t know whether to be creeped out or not. haha. I can’t remember if it was H or I that brought it up first, that he was staring at me, but it turned into a whole big thing. I tried not to say too much about it since it had already become a joke but near the end I did look up and we made eye contact so I told him to quit. My mom was standing right next to him. hah. He tried to say that I was the one staring at him and he felt forced to make eye contact, or whatever. Sure dude.

I really have always been self-conscious about people watching me eat. I guess maybe all this eating around him is going to help me get over my complex. ha!

He ended up leaving to use the restroom or something, which worked out well because I gave part of his tri-tip to mom that I no longer wanted to eat. 😬 He would have been horrified if he’d seen. A little after this he appeared out of no where and came to sit on the couch facing me. I was still sitting on the stool in the corner but sideways so I had my feet kicked up on the stool next to me in the middle. L was sitting on the couch and mom had moved over to stand between her and I. It’s a weird set up but basically he was sitting directly in front of me but on a lower level since he was on the couch. And he was so weird about sitting there too. Like making eyes at me and smiling. It was funny because he never sits over with us.

That was when I noticed how drunk he was though! He was able to hold a conversation without slurring much so I didn’t think it was that bad, but I was watching his eyes and he could barely keep them open. haha. It’s probably why he was staring at me so intensely. In a way that I’ve never seen him do it before. There was more than once that I looked over and caught his eyes running up and down over my body, particularly my ass [that probably doesn’t fit so good on a bar stool. 😂] The Mexican men always seem to be all about the backside. Or at least they’re the only ones that make it so obvious!

Eventually H’s parents and family showed up and we greeted all of them. Compa got up from where he was sitting because someone was asking what the difference was on the meats that were on the other side of the counter from me. He stood up and literally came straight towards me. Yes I was sitting sideways and blocking but he got all up in my space. Not sure if it was on purpose or just because he was too drunk to notice. haha. But he ended up leaning over my legs and just standing there super close for a little. I was kinda shocked that he’d gotten that close to me because he’s been good about keeping his distance.

I really, still, don’t understand that guy at all. Like clearly he was/is interested enough to be making eyes at me all night long, but then he won’t freaken text me back or really even try to get to know me at all. I would totally sit down and have a conversation with him. Just him and I. I am curious about him. I’d even let him watch me eat. 😆 But he doesn’t seem interested in that so I don’t know. I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m not the kind of girl that’s just going to hook up with you, but if he doesn’t know that yet he will soon enough. He honestly doesn’t seem like the type anyway. [But I’ve been wrong once before....]

This is how it always ends up happening though, isn’t it? I want to know EVERY.THING about a person and they just want to watch me walk away in a tight pair of jeans. 🙄

Well I got distracted with work. Probably for the best since the above sounds like it was heading down a weird path. hah. I got home around 7ish, ate a delicious grilled cheese, and started texting people back. Literally as I sat at the table I was watching a movie and a lady offered a guy a piece of chocolate cake. I’ve been saying how much I want cake for over a week now so I was joking about it. No joke, a couple minutes later I got up from the table and my phone buzzed. The client’s text came through, “I have cake!” Gasp That was so random and crazy. I asked if he was staking me. haha. I think he’s going to bring me chocolate rum cake tomorrow!

I was texting a little with compa, which he’s still terrible about. Apparently he remembers very little about Saturday. I did not realize he was that bad! So of course I took the opportunity to joke about his lack of memory and all the promises he made. He asked if I was lying and when I asked if he really thought so he gave me one of those big smile emojis. Then because he hadn’t replied to my questioning what that meant, I sent another text saying that whatever I say has to be the truth because he can’t remember differently.
I switched over to text my brother back and not even a minute later my phone started ringing. El compa. 😳 What the heck is he calling me for?? I thought about ignoring him but I’d literally just sent the message. He knew I had my phone with me. So I finally picked up before he hung up. We talked about how things were going, joked about Saturday, talked work, and more jokes about replacing him and how my voice sounds like I smoke a lot of cigarettes. It was small talky and a bit uhh..what do I do now? We’re still kind of in an awkward stage when it comes to having real sober conversation. haha. Like I clearly suck at small talk and I don’t know if he will let me get into the real talk with him. Plus his phone tends to cut out. I think because he’s getting messages or what not. And he seemed a bit distracted. I know he was working on stuff for his job so maybe that was it. At least the phone calls make me giggle and it’s nice that he likes talking. There’s gotta be a reason he calls right? Like he wouldn’t if he didn’t want to?

I don’t know. I don’t care. I am so not even going to overthink this one. I mean, I’ll continue to tell all the stories in here because I like to look back on it. But I really am going with the flow this time. He’s like some kind of combination between just friends and maybe he’d be interesting as more. I’m not going to mess with it right now. Just gonna let it play out.

Bedtime now.

rose.
10:31pm