8: Love getting stronger and stronger in My own struggles

  • March 1, 2019, 5:17 p.m.
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  • Public

I was in such a good place post Valentine’s day. Me and Lauren were in love with each other and i was loving it. It was the simple things that kept the love strong. Everyday we would send each good morning texts always saying love you at the end. On the nights we didn’t see each other, we would be on the phone calling each other and asking how our days were and so on. And in between we would be seeing each other at Yoga (benefit for me as i had a new favorite hobby) and on weekends enjoying each other’s company. I had no worries at all in my personal life. But it would be the following scenarios that would make our love stronger.

By March 2017, i had a spare ticket for the Le Mans 24 Hour race in June. I decided to put it up on Gumtree to see if anyone wanted it and perhaps come with me to the race. I only had one response from a woman called Tina. She had inquired if she could by the ticket for her husband as a birthday present. I said yes but also wanted to speak to her husband and then meet them to make sure we would be okay with the arrangement. I did speak with her husband on the phone and would arrange to meet him the following week from that phone call. She had also planned to be there. After Tina had inquired about the tickets, she continued to text me and sent a random message about putting on her tights. I’d actually laughed and replied that she mistakenly sent that text to the wrong person. However she instantly replied that it wasn’t a mistake - it was meant for me! Then soon came another text but this time from WhatsApp saying that i had a nice profile picture! Then it got even more stranger as she started sending me pictures of herself and then more pictures of her with her friends. I would keep Lauren in the loop on this throughout the day and the great thing about this was that she just laughed about it! Lauren had a great sense of humor and started to send me selfies of herself as a mickey take towards Tina.

I had so many messages from Tina that i had to turn my internet off. I knew that Tina was buying the tickets for her husband as a way of getting rid of him, probably to cheat on him. This was kind of confirmed when i turned my internet back on when i got to work, she had sent me another picture of herself but this time only wearing tights from behind. I was uncomfortable with this and had to ask her what her motive was. She did admit to wanting to have flirty fun but i decline and actually stated that i had a girlfriend and i was in love with Lauren. Tina just replied OK and left me alone.

I grabbed screenshots of the messages that were exchanged between me and Tina and forwarded them onto Lauren. I wanted to prove to her that despite somebody trying to flirt with me that my intentions were only with Lauren. Lauren said i passed the test. It was the first hurdle of strengthening and declaring our love to each other even more. I got butterflies when i texted her and even admitted this to her. They were exciting butterflies.

I ended up going to Le Mans myself. You may be thinking why didn’t i take Lauren to Le Mans. 2 reasons - 1). At this stage, we had only been going out for 2 months. 2). I was totally unsure if this race would be the sort of thing she would like. I had a great time anyway when the race came round and actually had the best time there with all the years i had been to race before, including the time i had been with Jade.

I also went to the Goodwood Members Meeting in the month of March. I compared the time to the year before when i had moved out of the house in Milton Keynes that i dearly loved and was so thankful that i met Lauren. I texted her this when the fireworks were going off at night. It reminded how lucky i was to be with her.

Me and Lauren did go the classic car show in April at the NEC, Birmingham which was really cool. She liked the classic Land Rovers particularly and i just liked everything there! That was a very good day. We followed this up with our first weekend away together for my 30th birthday in York. She didn’t get me a gift as such but that didn’t matter. I had her which was the main thing and she bought us dinner at a Italian restaurant as my birthday present. She looked stunning in her dress that she wore. The most naturally beautiful person i had pleasure of seeing. Magical weekend.

The next further step for strengthening our love was at Easter weekend 2017. Lauren would stop round mine on Saturday night after she finished work so i decided in the day that i would buy her flowers, Cadbury Cream Egg chocolates and ingredients to make French toast which included Strawberries and Nutella. I would get this made while she was at work and would serve this to her on the morning of Easter Sunday. Along with the flowers and Cream Eggs, she absolutely loved it! So much so she actually posted it on Facebook declaring how amazing i was. I didn’t realize she had done this until we were eating round her Nan’s house and her Nan would read out Lauren’s status to everyone. I got butterflies again. Once we were alone, i gave her a passionate kiss and said how sweet that was to say that.

Around that time, me and Lauren would often go on double date with her friends mostly with Chelle and Carl and also with my friend Rich and his partner Laura. All these dates were memorable in their own way. The most memorable double date i think was when we were with Chelle and Carl at Rub Smokehouse Restaurant in Birmingham. The portions were designed to be huge like American size portions. But everyone laughed when i seem to have ordered a Pizza shaped like a taco that was served in a VW campervan! It was one of those nights which was memorable to me and Lauren just for the sheer laughs and enjoyment.

In the same month, i would head off to Newcastle for Rich’s brother’s stag do. Even when i was out at night with the lads, i would still keep in contact with Lauren texting each other. Her sense of humor was brilliant again when she sent me a picture of her in tights saying ‘Tina tights say hi! LMAO!!’ I just burst out laughing. I told her how lucky i was and she replied with the most kindest of texts back saying how much she loved me. She said that i made her laugh, made her smile and loved her for being her which was all true. I couldn’t have put it better myself. I wanted to keep that feeling forever. Butterflies yet again.

Around all this time, i was still so madly deep in love with Lauren that i knew i would want to spend my life with her. I wanted to reflect this in my job status as well. I had been a contractor for 5.5 years but with not a very good holiday package, meaning i didn’t get paid when i took any holiday. We had discussed with each other about our own job prospects and what we would like to do. Lauren wanted to move away from managing her store in Hednesford and become a trainer. I said that i would like to try and work for Bentley. I found one role which was ideally suited for me which was via Continental Engineering which i’d applied for. I had put aside trying for a career in Formula 1 on the basis that i had found love and happiness in being with Lauren and wanted a better job and job security to be the foundations of future happiness too. She was very supportive of anything i did.

On the last bank holiday in May, i would be hosting a dinner party for my family and got Lauren to help contribute with the food. She is an excellent baker got to bake slider buns for the mini burgers that i made. We made an excellent team helping each other out. It’s something i don’t think we did enough together considering our love of food. That love of food would carry through when I was at Le Mans, France for the race weekend in June. I got Lauren plenty of Macaroons and other French biscuits to bring back for her. And also got her an Aston Martin racing t-shirt to bridge her towards my love of Motorsport.

Goodwood Festival of Speed at the end of June would be my next adventure and i had managed to convince Lauren to come down over the weekend and enjoy the event with me. I was already planning on going down as part of my volunteering that i do anyway for Goodwood. My highlight which made me think how much she loved the event was when the Bentley Continental GT3 race car was fired up and revving it’s V8 engine next to her. She just giggled with excitement. I was in heaven. I got Lauren to a motorsport event and she was loving it. I was on cloud 9.

My love for her went through the roof. So much so that the next morning i’d sent her a text saying ‘Thinking of you’ with this image on:

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Her reply was a million love heart emoji faces on followed by a million kisses. Another text followed saying how amazing i was and that she couldn’t wait to have our own life together. Butterflies and love was through the roof. I was even more in love with Lauren compared to the first day i met her. Everything was perfect. And this symbolized when she put up another Facebook status saying “6 months ago, she met [me] and changed my life forever. Thanks for being the best thing that happened to me. Love you loads xxx”. The only it could have got better was just to keep continuing on this trend and wait for the right time to propose to her. Looking back on it now and if i was still with her now, it would have been either this year or next year that i would have got down on one knee. But i wanted to be patient and wait for the right time to go through with this in case something bad would happen. Which in this case, it would do in the next few chapters.

Lauren would go off on holiday to Greece for 2 weeks with her mum the following day she put that Facebook status out. It would be the longest that i wouldn’t be seeing her. I went a week without seeing her when i was at Le Mans but this would feel like an age. Of course, we would keep texting each other during this period but there’s no substitute for actually seeing each other. Even spending time apart, we would still be fond of each other. I actually made her a promise that i would do anything to keep her happy and make sure this continues for the rest of our lives. It’s the most natural poetic thing i ever wrote to her. There would be songs that reminded her of me and it was no different from my end. I end this chapter with a song from Sterephonics - You’re my Star. I’d sent this to Lauren in April and couldn’t think of a better song that could remind of her better.


Last updated March 02, 2019


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