Slipping in 2019

Fighting this mix of cloudy unreliable feelings. It’s like I am standing outside of myself and I can see everything from the horrible coping skills to the light at the end of this tunnel. I know I never actually got over anything now, I know that I threw all the bad habits I had into another basket of bad habits just making myself feel like I had beat whatever I was fighting before by changing my bad coping ways. Now I was just throwing everything in me into something that wasn’t ever real and I know now I knew it wasn’t real and that I would end up here but I didn’t care cause for that little while I felt like good I felt like I was being a good person and that’s what people strive to be. Except I was being a good person to the wrong people and thats where I went wrong. I put too much into something that wasn’t ever going to give back. We all have to be careful I suppose with who we are giving ourselves and this falls into a lot of different areas of our lives from romantic relationships to friendships.