Who wouldnt date in my life in Myself and life as its been

I wouldn’t be dating any woman who has kids, this isn’t because of baggage as some people say, its because I have 2 options, I’m either all in or not at all and I doubt the mother would want either. Let me elaborate on what I mean here....

So if i get into the relationship and then sooner or later she would want me to get along with her kids as they are a bit part of her life obviously but if I really like/love the woman I could be more involved in her whole life including the kids by being a step father.

But there’s the kicker, I could be more like a father in the kids life if the real father is out of the picture and I could put my heart out there, pay for all sorts of things in the kids life, educational wise, birthday wise and all but if me and the mother don’t work out year down the line then she could turn around in a hatred and say “your not their real father” which would hurt.

So there’s the other option, being in the mothers life and not interacting with the kids whatsoever.

Which I doubt she would like.