Tonight as the boys' dad's girl friend dropped off the boys, girl friend asks if Nick had his pills today (no he did not). She then proceeds to tell me how Nick was fooling around at dinner, eating with his hands. The way she made it sound, he was acting like an animal. When she told him to stop eating with his hands and use a fork, he allegedly yelled at her, saying he didn't have to do what she said because she is not his mom. There was an intervention from Adam's mom (whom Adam lives with) and she was extremely displeased with Nick (again, allegedly). He APPARENTLY also called her a piece of crap, which i did NOT believe for one second. Still, I made Nick apologize to her for being rude to her (she was on the verge of tears and I actually felt a little sorry for her). I sat down next to him after she had left and got his side of the story. Which matched up with what Adam told me when I called him later. Yes he did play with his food and he did tell her he wasn't going to listen because she wasn't his mom... but the rest of her story was extremely exaggerated and some parts completely false (like calling her a piece of crap).
I understand Nick not liking her. Just as he told me, she makes things up to try to get him into trouble. I'm thankful that Nick is a smart kid and doesn't take crap from people. Boy do I hate it when he talks back to me, but I am thankful that he won't let dad's crazy girl friend get to him! :) Still I feel sorry for her- she is so insecure and wants so desperately to be liked and respected... she's just going about it all wrong. I explained this to Nick, trying to get him to understand her a little. I told him he doesn't have to like her but he should be nice to her. She's obviously not going anywhere. Unfortunately.
It gets me thinking... there's this guy I've got my eye on, and it just so happens that he's a single dad. I told myself to stay away from single dads because I just don't think i could deal with baby mama drama... BUT I feel this guy could be different. Maybe :) Only God knows, really. My prayer is that if I do end up with a single dad, he'll get what it feels like to have another person play parent to their child and will be sensitive to my own, not try to impose on them. I want my future man to be someone the boys WANT to listen to, because they respect him.
I was telling Nick a few weeks ago, as we were laughing at some silly love song, that I pray that Nick will approve of 'the one' for me. That he will tell me "I like him, Mom. You should marry him." His response: "I want you to marry Daddy." Shoot... I was afraid he'd say that. Sigh... Well, he might be young still to get it. But he will. He'll understand why his dad and i wouldn't work. Oh of course I explained it as best I could. It's hard when you don't want to make the other parent out to be the bad guy but there's just no other way to say it... they didn't want to work at it. They didn't treat you right. Sometimes there's just no sugar-coating it.
As much as I'd love to be with someone right now, I think it's best for the boys' sake that I don't. Or that I at least take it slow and not add to the drama and confusion in their lives. WHEN the time is right and the RIGHT person comes along, it won't be hard on the boys to welcome a new man in their lives. Well, maybe just a little... but not too bad :)
I love that I'm at peace with being single right now. It's taken me a loooong time to get to this place. A lot of growing up, I've had to do... (ha! now I'm sounding like Yoda! ;)) But in retrospect, everything makes sense. Why I've had to be single. I've had to learn a few things. Like how being with someone is not my 'magical solution.' There's so much more to life than that. I've finally realized that I am not just a half of a person waiting for her other half in order for life to begin. The rest of my life is NOW. Every single day. I'm not going to spend all my life waiting, hoping.
My new mantra in life: always hope, never expect. I won't let go of the hope but I won't sit around expecting either. I'm making my life happen and that is that :)
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