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Feb. 4, 2019, 11:54 p.m.
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The Scot is still sending me sweet messages and is still telling me he’s coming to visit me here in [my city] at the end of February. How? I don’t know. How can he afford it if NYC broke the bank? And I’ve already told him I can’t take a week off before my big convention, so I’m not sure how we’re going to pull this off. Don’t get me wrong, it would be *great* to see him here in my personal environment, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m putting off the inevitable by letting him come here? I do crave his affection, but is it wrong to let him come visit if I’m unsure about our relationship and what it means?
I told you I was slowly ghosting Super Geek? Well, from time to time I’d feed him a tidbit of a text - not to keep him on the hook, but simply not to be a big fucking bitch and a complete asshole of a ghost. So he’s now asked me via text if I’d like to see him this coming weekend. I’m going to have to practice humility and give it to him straight. I’m not sensing a spark with him, and it’s a damn shame...but I owe him the respect of answering him in that manner. He’s a wonderful man.
Remember Karl? I went out with him a few years ago (one date...he wasn’t ready to date at the time) and we’ve since become friends. He invites me to events fairly regularly now. I think he’s such a wonderful guy. He’d also been trying to make up his mind about a long-term love for several months, so he’s been doing lots of soul searching lately. So. He had a Super Bowl party last night and I went. So did his new girlfriend. She’s wonderful and I’m soooo happy for him and I nearly fell in love with her last night. She’s *that* awesome! But I have to admit that I’m the tiniest bit jealous because he’d dated her long ago as well...and he circled back on her. But I certainly can’t hate either one over it. They look VERY happy together and that’s really what matters, right? Funny thing is, I think she’s dated every guy I have in this town. We discussed it last night! Hm.
This morning something happened that threw me! I was at the gas station getting gas and I’d stepped inside the shop while my tank was filling to get a coffee and some pretzels (nice breakfast) and when I came back out and got into my car I noticed a man walking up to my car. He was holding a business card and handed it to me and said, “You should call me sometime.” I was taken so off guard that I said, “No. Thank you.” and he was all….”are you sure??” And I was like, “Yeah. I’m sure.” And he walked away. As I drove away I thought about it for a long second. I was absolutely flattered by that gesture, sure! But it’s so odd! Who does that anymore? Does this tactic work for this man? I remember a looong time ago a guy left a note on my car at my apartment and I ended up dating him until he moved away. So I guess that kind of thing *does* work for some people. I was just taken off guard, I guess.
xox,
GS
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