6: Enter Lauren in My own struggles

  • Feb. 6, 2019, 8:33 p.m.
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Most of the reasons why I’m writing these chapters is mostly as i’m trying to get over a relationship i had with Lauren. This chapter onward will pretty much cover Lauren from here on in.

Now that i had moved in on my own, i could concentrate fully again on finding the relationship i desired. I ditched using POF as that site was mostly full of spam and wasted efforts prior to moving in with Sarra, Becky and Jenna. It was down to match.com and Tinder but there was a point of not using Tinder altogether. This is because when chatting to one girl, we got each other’s phone numbers and she ended up calling me on Christmas eve and the phone call itself ended up turning....saucy shall we say. Nothing unusual about that until what she said at the end of the phone call saying that was our first date. I found it so weird to hear. On Christmas day, she ended up calling me again but via Video call on whatsapp. Things again got saucy as i got a video of her playing with herself. Yep, she was a bit too freaky for my liking.

Now i want to talk about Lauren. We met on Tinder and I remember swiping right for her on Boxing day when i was my dad’s house. She swiped for me on the same day. I messaged her first admitting to using the same introduction as i use for everybody - “Hi there, nice to meet you x”. I got a response from her the next day when i was coming back from Milton Keynes. The conversation started off normally just by asking each other and how we were and what we were up to etc. It kept building up as each day passed getting to know each other more, noting that Lauren worked at Pets corner and that she has 2 cats called Thor and Vali. I took more of a interest to the fact that she those cats; firstly being a cat person like me and that also she named them after Nordic Gods and coincidentally - Marvel characters (well, just Thor!). So it was beginning to look like i had a lot in common without even asking.

But it really turned a corner when she wanted to know more about me - what i did and what sort of things i was into. I stated that i was a car engineer and that my main passion was first and for-mostly Motorsport. I stated other hobbies and things but i felt it was important to get my main hobby out as it mostly defines who i am. She thought it was cool i was into motorsport as she replied that she likes motorbikes and rally cars. At that point, the blue litmus paper had been lit! I got more confident and more interested every time i was talking to her. I think it was around that point at which i asked her out. Fortunately she said and suggested that we meet at Costa Coffee in Cannock the day after New Year’s Day.

A little side step in between talking about Lauren. On New Year’s Eve, i found out that Jade had in fact got engaged to her boyfriend. For some reason, this actually put a downer on me that i needed to go out for an afternoon walk around Chasewater Park. It wasn’t that i wanted to get back with Jade but more the fact that she was able to get over me very quickly and move on to something that i wanted, or something that i missed badly - a happy life being with someone, which i only last experienced with Jade.

On the way to Chasewater, there was a song on the radio by Biffy Clyro called Re-arrange. The lyrics to this song were matching pretty much what i feeling in my life


I was inept of high emotion going into the walk. Needed to clear my head. However, i was still checking my Tinder messages and Lauren was still replying but now more on a regular basis. I had about a three hour walk around the perimeter of Chasewater clearing my head but now my attention was focused on Lauren and seeing if this was lead to something. From Chasewater all the way up to the New year, we were keep sending each other messages very quickly. She was going to a party with her mum and i was home alone watching football and movies. On the stroke of midnight, i wished her a happy new year with an additional kissing emoji and a few extra kisses on the end. This worked and she sent the same message back including the emoji.

Come 2nd January, it was date time. We met roughly at mid day. She arrived before me and i arrived on the hour at Costa Coffee. We stayed there for over 3 hours with good never ending conversation. I was mostly asking questions to her as i was really interested in her and some highlights of the conversation included her line of work which we had talked about previously from the Tinder messages, her cats which i particularly remember asking Lauren if she feeds them Dreamies. The look she gave me before answering no was very stern but i think she forgave me as she explained to me that she doesn’t feed her cats mainline pet food (Mars food as example) because of the unhealthy stuff they put in. This brought the conversation more inline with her work again but i was okay with that. I really found her engaging and interesting. After coffee, we both had a wonder around TK Maxx. Mostly looking at the home section items, the most memorable bit looking around there was when i was picking up some kitchen utensils. She suggested to go for purple ones but i choose pink ones as a bit of a joke but to be different. As soon as i picked them up, she looked at me and sarcastically said “Really!?” I found out that day that purple was her favorite colour so hence her mild disappointment in picking those! But at the end of the date, i felt we got on like a house on fire and that was certainly the case. When i got back home, i sent her a message thanking for today and also gave her my mobile number in case she rather message me direct than through Tinder. Rightly, she continued to use Tinder as a form of communication to build up more trust. I didn’t want to push things over the edge as i really liked Lauren and knew i wanted to make this work.

The next time i would see her would 8th January. Another aspect i found about Lauren was that she was into Yoga. And she wanted me to try it too. This in itself would be life changing as i still do Yoga to this day. Lauren was under the impression that i was only going to try it once but i threw caution to the wind and got a 2 class trial to try and like it. I did try Yoga once when i was going out with Jade but that class i went to with Jade was quite uninspiring. Going to Yoga with Lauren was different, much different. The classes are led by an instructor (and also Lauren’s friend) called Rachel and the first class was called Dynamic Vinyasa which is a hard energetic class. Lauren didn’t think i would survive but i did. It was fantastic. At the end of the class when Lauren asked what i thought of it, i said i liked it so much that i wanted to do it again and that i had a pass that would allow me to come back. So i came back 2 days later to a ‘Hatha’ class which a strength style class. I found this class more suitable to me this time but also gave me more appreciation of well being allowing me thoughts to run and flow. At the end of the class, we lye in a Shavasana pose. As i was lying there, i was thinking about flying through blue sky clouds but with a montage of me and Lauren together rubbing cheeks together and kissing. My feeling for her were getting stronger by the day.

We kept chatting into the weekend as was case. On Sunday, she wanted to meet up with me and go out but heavy rain but a stop to that. I took the opportunity to ask her if she would like
the idea of going a day out to Wightwick Manor and Gardens. She absolutely loved the thought of it and thought that i was thoughtful in doing so. I then stated in true honestly that I was only interested in her and nobody else now. I had stopped swiping left and right on Tinder and was only using it to message her as I still didn’t have her number at this stage. She also stated that she was only interested in me and it felt just brilliant to feel someone felt the same way as i did towards them.

Wednesday 18th January would be the day where it all came together. I was still only seeing her at Yoga on Mondays and Wednesdays for now. I pulled up along her car where she blasting out the song Burn it to the Ground by Nickelback. It looked so amusing to look at her as she was stood still static rather than singing along or even dancing along to the song. She eventually noticed me as i was outside her car door and jokingly asked her if she was alright. We had a little giggle about it. We got in the yoga class and being as it was quite packed, we had no choice but to be at the back of the class. But this wouldn’t matter. If anything, this provided a surprising moment of private opportunity between us. At every possible Shavasana moment in class, i always kept thinking of flying through blue sky clouds with visions of me and Lauren together. My heart rate would normally be low as it would be during any other Shavasna. My arms are quite wide to the side of my body to help relax my body and mind and funnily enough so was Lauren’s. This meant being side by side to each other we were within touching distance of each other. As the shavasna went on, our finger stroked each other. Rather than adjusting our hands, we actually got more interlocked and actually held hands stroking each other. My heart rate went through the roof! This was pure confirmation that we really liked each other.

She hung around when i was changing out of my gym clothes and we stayed in the car park chatting for a fair while. I had some flapjacks to give to her which were made by my grandma. In a previous conversation we had, i said that her flapjacks are the best and that next time i saw her i would give some to her. I gave her the flapjacks and she was still hanging around. Must admit at this point i was a little petrified. I wanted to kiss her and hoping she did too. As soon as said that i needed to go, we hugged each other and while i was hugging her i gave her a passionate kiss on her cheek and then this turned into a full on passionate kiss with each other. We would be kissing for minutes, although interrupted by Lauren as she noticed church bells ringing in the background! She giggled as she pointed that out and then carried on kissing. It was so memorable that every time i hear church bells ring around, it brings me back to the day when we officially started off our relationship.

I was so delighted about how things went from the point of swiping right for her to the point of kissing, i even tweeted about it. Something along the lines of ‘my night went along like this (with multiple heart symbols following)’. Lauren was the first girl that i actually managed to a serious relationship from Tinder, and also only. Meeting her didn’t feel like a Tinder date. It felt more. Meeting her felt something completely different from everyone who i had met before after splitting up with Jade. There was no thought of Jade anymore, just Lauren.


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